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News media has become more influential in people’s lives. Other believe it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

News media has become more influential in people’s lives. Other believe it is a negative development. v. 3
In this temporary setting, news media is given paramount importance in human lives. Some are of the opinion that it has detrimental development. Considering this situation, it is crucial to explore from two perspectives. To begin with, some news containing crimes and false information has several demerits. To be precise, as the growth of the media industry, many of them are manipulated by politics or supported by profitable companies financially. Moreover, some news related to these areas tend to be distorted and omitted deliberately in order to maintain their public image. As a result, this can form false views among their audiences without any awareness, thereby enticing the public on turning blind eyes to potential risks, such as uncovered scandals, or food safety incidents. Besides, reporting a massive quantity of crimes by the press is terrifying to local citizens, and they will believe their safety is under threatened, which triggers their negative emotion and alleviate the positive ones. In another word, it can impose unnecessary stress and anxiety to local neighborhoods. Consequently, causing harmful effects on their mental health. Hence, propagating these types of news through media will have disastrous repercussion. On the other hand, news media may also have some merits. To be specific, spreading emergency news, such as natural disaster, and epidemics, through the press is pivotal to human lives. This is because people can respond to these situations immediately and effectively. Furthermore, it increases the tendency to prevent people from potential risks. For example, in Japan, their TV programs are designed to report urgent news twenty-four-seven, so many people prepare for earthquakes before it happened, so they can protect themselves from being injured. Additionally, because some urgent news report recent disaster around the world, viewers can provide humanitarian to those affected place immediately, and alleviate their sufferings. Hence, the news industry has a significant contribution to human surroundings. To sum up, it is apparent media will produce some negative influence, but by no means, should we ignore the positive side of it. In my opinion, I strongly agree that news makes improve human’s life better and play a vital role in our life.
In this temporary setting,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
paramount importance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the opinion that it has detrimental development. Considering this situation, it is crucial to explore from two perspectives.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
containing crimes and false information has several demerits. To be precise, as the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
industry,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them
are manipulated
by politics or supported by profitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
financially
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
related to these areas tend to
be distorted
and omitted
deliberately
in order to maintain their public image.
As a result
, this can form false views among their audiences without any awareness, thereby enticing the public on turning blind eyes to potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, such as uncovered scandals, or food safety incidents.
Besides
, reporting a massive quantity of crimes by the press is terrifying to local citizens, and they will believe their safety is under threatened, which triggers their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotion and alleviate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ones. In another word, it can impose unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety to local neighborhoods.
Consequently
, causing harmful effects on their mental health.

Hence
, propagating these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will have disastrous repercussion.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
may
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits. To be specific, spreading emergency
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, such as natural disaster, and epidemics, through the press is pivotal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can respond to these situations immediately and
effectively
.
Furthermore
, it increases the tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
For example
, in Japan, their TV programs
are designed
to report urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
twenty-four-seven,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prepare for earthquakes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it happened,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can protect themselves from
being injured
.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
report recent disaster around the world, viewers can provide humanitarian to those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
place immediately, and alleviate their sufferings.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
industry has a significant contribution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
surroundings.

To sum up, it is apparent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by no means, should we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of it. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
life better and play a vital role in our life.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay News media has become more influential in people’s lives. Other believe it is a negative development. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
356 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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