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Some people think that the news media has become much more influential in people’s lives today and it is a negative development. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that the news media has become much more influential in people’s lives today and it is a negative development. v. 1
In compliance with the development of events and the emergence of most opportunities, the mastery of the huge power of the news media over consumers is a negative development, according to some. I completely agree with this tendency, because excessive and unnecessary interference has many bad sides. To begin with, it is worth noting that, like every trend, the influence of the media is on the dark side. The eyewitnesses reason is the effect on the psyche. In other words, in traditional pool, the media express the information too sharply, which leads to the fact that people begin to panic or zombie. Even if substantial daily doses of (abound) awareness does not hurt, panic reflects a moral ideal of mankind. For instance, the media every time notifies people of the constant growth of those infected with a real pandemic - covid 19. Another ideal factor that I agree with the widely accepted concept( conventional picture) is a violation of the psyche of the age category, because most often no one guarantees that in front of the TV or the one who watches the news is an adult. For example, provided that a child reads or watches data on violence to a limited age, this will greatly affect the formation of a person in the future. As a result, in some cases platform of social media will raise awareness, but there are news when people's brains stop thinking meaningfully. Another important reason is the concern about worthless evidence, because with the advent of a pandemic, information in the media ceased to be filtered. Although people look forward to tempting messages every time, most of the information misspents their time. For example, by adhering to the statistics of the last 2 months, 70% of the media information that they print, broadcast and transmit is misinforming garbage. In addition, information on programs / TV channels / the Internet viewed by thousands of people can harm or mislead a person. Therefore, individuals can make the situation in the country worse. To illustrate, many users, due to epidemic, did not understand the precautions correctly and bought up all buckwheat, masks and toilet paper, creating panic, which leads to poor conditions in the country. Thus, media gen might be useless and its impact will lead to waste or civil unrest. In conclusion, I completely agree with the opinion that the negative impact of the media on people is strong, because exaggerate account of news can broke balance in a country.
In compliance with the development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and the emergence of most opportunities, the mastery of the huge power of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
over consumers is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this tendency,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
excessive and unnecessary interference has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is worth noting that, like every trend, the influence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is on the dark side. The eyewitnesses reason is the effect on the psyche.
In other words
, in traditional pool, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
express the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
too
sharply
, which leads to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to panic or zombie. Even if substantial daily doses of (abound) awareness does not hurt, panic reflects a moral ideal of mankind.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
every time notifies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the constant growth of those infected with a real pandemic
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid 19
. Another ideal factor that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
concept
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
conventional picture) is a violation of the psyche of the age category,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
no one guarantees that in front of the TV or the one who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is an adult.
For example
, provided that a child reads or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
data on violence to a limited age, this will
greatly
affect the formation of a person in the future.
As a result
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases platform of social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will raise awareness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's brains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
thinking
meaningfully
.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is the concern about worthless evidence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the advent of a pandemic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
ceased to
be filtered
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look forward to tempting messages every time, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
Possible spelling mistake found.
misspents
their time.
For example
, by adhering to the statistics of the last 2 months, 70% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that they print, broadcast and transmit is misinforming garbage.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on programs / TV channels / the Internet viewed by thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can harm or mislead a person.
Therefore
, individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the situation in the country worse. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
users, due to epidemic, did not understand the precautions
correctly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
up all buckwheat, masks and toilet paper, creating panic, which leads to poor conditions in the country.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
gen might be useless and its impact will lead to waste or civil unrest.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
strong,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
exaggerate account of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can broke balance in a country.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the news media has become much more influential in people’s lives today and it is a negative development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
414 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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