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Old generations often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life thinking and behavior However some people think that these ideas are not helpful for the young people to prepare for modern life What s your opinion v.2

Old generations often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life thinking and behavior However some people think that these ideas are not helpful for the young people to prepare for modern life What s your opinion v. 2
In the modern life, there is a large gap generation between oldsters and youngsters. Several people believe that old people have the right manners and behavior in the life while others argue that these ideas are behind the times and not suitable for young people to use both in a fast-paced world. This essay will discuss both views. To begin with, it is undeniable that there are various things we can learn from old generations. First and foremost, old people have gone a lot of thick and thin so they have some valuable experiences in the real life. As a result, they will give young generations precious advice to have right method of life, thinking and behavior. In addition, there are a variety of traditional views and values are certainly applicable to the modern life. For instance, older generations attach great important to working hard, do one’s best and these behavior can be benefit for youngsters when they enter today’s competitive job market. On the other hand, with the globalization, some methods of ancestor are out- of- date, people need to invent new development which keep abreast of current life. Firstly, conventional values can restrict teenagers from think globally. For example, forefathers only traded in a certain area without communicating with different countries, this is not suitable in nowadays. To integrate over the world, young people need to spend time learning foreign languages and absorbing a world of knowledge. Likewise, as people get older, they often become set is their ways to reluctant to try new things. For example, a huge number of oldsters consider that using smartphone and internet is useless and deny the magnitude of advanced technology in the modern life. In conclusion, although there are some ideas of old generations which are useful, I strongly believe that it is essential for young people to make some appropriate changes with the current life.
In the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, there is a large gap generation between oldsters and youngsters. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the right manners and behavior in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while others argue that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are behind the times and not suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
both in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world. This essay will discuss both views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is undeniable that there are various things we can learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generations.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have gone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
thick and thin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable experiences in the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
As a result
, they will give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations precious advice to have right method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, thinking and behavior.
In addition
, there are a variety of traditional views and values are
certainly
applicable to the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, older generations attach great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, do one’s best and
Did you mean "this behavior" or "these behaviors"?
these behavior
can be benefit for youngsters when they enter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s competitive job market.

On the other hand
, with the globalization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods of ancestor are out- of- date,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to invent new development which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
, conventional values can restrict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
globally.
For example
, forefathers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
traded in a certain area without communicating with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, this is not suitable
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
. To integrate over the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to spend time learning foreign languages and absorbing a world of knowledge.
Likewise
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
become set is their ways
Did you mean "too reluctant to"?
to reluctant to
try new things.
For example
, a huge number of oldsters consider that using smartphone and internet is useless and deny the magnitude of advanced technology in the modern life.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generations which are useful, I
strongly
believe that it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
appropriate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Old generations often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life thinking and behavior However some people think that these ideas are not helpful for the young people to prepare for modern life What s your opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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