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It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring up their children. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring up their children. v. 1
There is little room for doubt that parents need to take part in practical parenting classes to raise their offspring. I am of the opinion that the parental involvement in children's life and education is immensely important. With such appropriate knowledge gained from parental courses, they would feel more confident and easier in roaring their young generation. The following essay will further explore the reasons that have shaped my viewpoint. One of the reasons approved is that taking a parental course bring a great deal of benefits beyond parents' expectation. People preparing for mums and dads can obtain many reliable information about children at different developmental stages, nutrients and vaccinations. As well as, well-qualified coaches provide them in-depth knowledge about basic medical training. In other words, parents will be equipped with how to deal with specific and essential emergency situations. So if their future babies had either a high fever or breathing issue, they would know how to give first aid properly. Finally, people who are going to have an infant will learn an enormous number of experience from other parents. Not only they can share useful tips each other, but they can build a network which is all people having the same parental concerns. Another noteworthy cause makes parenting classes more critical ever that is parents' wrong conceptions. If parents just learn parenting tricks and hacks from their previous generation, they will probably make huge mistakes. Some errors can fix by experiencing it, but some even must pay a horrible price. To illustrate this, in Viet Nam, it was reported that hundreds of babies had to be hospitalized in Japanese encephalitis B epidemic. Additionally, with only word of mouth, parents generally misunderstand and pick wrongly out healthy diets and social life for children in a couple of first years. To sum up, it can be oviously seen that parents ought to enroll parental classes to take good care of their offspring. Taking part in basic training courses before parenthood can do wonders for parents and prevent them from unforseen cases. If all parents can attend parenting classes, their knowledge will not only help themselves but also be distributed to other families and friends later on.
There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
room for doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
to raise their offspring. I am of the opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
involvement in children's life and education is
immensely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. With such appropriate knowledge gained from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
courses, they would feel more confident and easier in roaring their young generation. The following essay will
further
explore the reasons that have shaped my viewpoint.

One of the reasons approved is that taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
course bring a great deal of benefits beyond parents' expectation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
preparing for
Possible spelling mistake found.
mums
and dads can obtain
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much reliable information", "a good deal of reliable information".
many reliable information
about children at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
developmental stages, nutrients and vaccinations.
As well
as, well-qualified coaches provide them in-depth knowledge about basic medical training. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will
be equipped
with how to deal with specific and essential emergency situations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if their future babies had either a high fever or breathing issue, they would know how to give
first
aid
properly
.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are going to have an infant will learn an enormous number of experience from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they can share useful tips each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can build a network which is all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
concerns.

Another noteworthy cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
more critical ever
that is
parents'
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
conceptions. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to parent".
parenting
tricks and hacks from their previous generation, they will
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
huge mistakes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
errors can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
by experiencing it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay a horrible price. To illustrate this, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam, it
was reported
that hundreds of babies had to
be hospitalized
in Japanese encephalitis B epidemic.
Additionally
, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
word of mouth,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
generally
misunderstand and pick
wrongly
out healthy diets and social life for children in a couple of
first
years.

To sum up, it can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
oviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to enroll
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care of their offspring. Taking part in basic training courses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
parenthood can do wonders for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from
Possible spelling mistake found.
unforseen
cases. If all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, their knowledge will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
be distributed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
families and friends later on.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay It is necessary for parents to attend parenting training course to bring up their children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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