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New parents should attend a parenting course to learn how to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

New parents should attend a parenting course to learn how to bring up their children well. v. 2
The crucial issue about good parenting has been raised owing to the rapid increase of disruptive parent-child relationship. In this light, some people vehemently claim that beginner parent should participate in a parenting course in order to adapt substantial values that are relevant in upbringing a child well. Notwithstanding, this writer extremely disagrees because such courses are ineffective and unrealistic in this contemporary era. To begin with, proponents of having a parenting course often point out the in- depth learnings of parenting styles gained. This is because parenting groups are equipped with appropriate or significant learnings which are the key to being good parents, thereby producing good children in the end. However, it is far from reality to warrant this better outcome as there are various extrinsic factors to consider such as availability of parents, the cost of parenting course and the socio- cultural environment of a child as well. To exemplify, new parents in the USA prefer to seek immediate help from their parents, and even so, grandparents are the ones looking after their grandchildren. On the other hand, I firmly believe that parenting is a growing experience that is transmitted from parents to children. It is often acquired through the nurturing habits and tender- loving attitudes of parents to their children which are the fundamental basis to know if its right or wrong. If a child was brought up by well- oriented or faithful family, then it would naturally reflect his/her future family as well. Apart from this, effective parenting styles are prominent on the Internet with just a few clicks, resultantly saving time and effort compared to the must attendance in a parental subject. Indeed, attending a parenting course is insufficient to raise well- behaved and well-mannered children in a society. Hence, parental instinct is natural and due to the advancements in modern technology, tips on how to properly guide and nurture a child is possible.
The crucial issue about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
has
been raised
owing to the rapid increase of disruptive parent-child relationship. In this light,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
vehemently
claim that beginner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should participate in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in order to adapt substantial values that are relevant in upbringing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. Notwithstanding, this writer
extremely
disagrees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are ineffective and unrealistic in this contemporary era.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, proponents of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
point out the in- depth learnings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
styles gained. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
groups
are equipped
with appropriate or significant learnings which are the key to being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, thereby producing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
However
, it is far from reality to warrant this better outcome as there are various extrinsic factors to consider such as availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio
- cultural environment of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. To exemplify, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the USA prefer to seek immediate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, grandparents are the ones looking after their grandchildren.

On the other hand
, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
is a growing experience that
is transmitted
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
acquired through the nurturing habits and tender- loving attitudes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which are the fundamental basis to know if its right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
was brought
up by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-
oriented or faithful family, then it would
naturally
reflect his/her future family as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. Apart from this, effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
styles are prominent on the Internet with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few clicks,
resultantly
saving time and effort compared to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
attendance in a parental subject.

Indeed
, attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is insufficient to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-
behaved and well-mannered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a society.
Hence
, parental instinct is natural and due to the advancements in modern technology, tips on how to
properly
guide and nurture a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is possible.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay New parents should attend a parenting course to learn how to bring up their children well. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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