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Advertisement brings many negative effect on people and the society. What are these problem? How to solve this problems? v.2

Advertisement brings many negative effect on people and the society. What are these problem? How to solve this problems? v. 2
It is undeniable that advertisements are the major source of information through which people will be informed about the latest technology and and product in the markets. Presently, people believe that the increasing number of advertisement has bad impact on the society and on individuals. Here, this essay intends to discuss about the effects of advertisement and the possible solution to tackle this issue. There are manifold points to endorse how the advertisement has badly affect on the society and on human beings. First and the foremost, people are being extravagant on shopping of different products because of being influenced of different attractive advertisement related to products. To demonstrate, Companies pay much amount of money to advertisement team to disseminate the information of their product. Then, advertisement team adds species to their information and also tells about special discount, offers and so on which really influence people to buy unnecessary product. Due to which, the quantity of solid wastes and non-degradable products like plastics increase and automatically the problems of pollution, degradation of land arise on the environment of our society. Besides that, many younger get influenced by the advertisement of various facial products. Then, they buy them with the imagination of getting glowing, flawless skin and to remove acnes. Unfortunately, some products have side effects on their faces instead of making beautiful. Taking a real life example into consideration, I have a problem of acnes on my oily face. So, I brought a face cream which was told by the advertisement on television but, it was worthless. Consequently, Advertisement provides the information which only bad effect on the community and on people. What can be done to combat these effects. Firstly, the government make strict rules and regulation for the advertisement agency that they should not be allowed to disseminate the information of wrong products. If they do like that, their licenses of producing advertisement should be canceled and should be charged with money. What is more, people should be conscious and should not be easily influenced by the wrong information related to the products they are using in their daily lives. Lastly, public awareness should be raised among people telling that how people are becoming hypocrite by providing wrong information through advertisement to earn money. To recapitulate, Undeniably, nowadays, people depend on advertisement to buy something new. But, It is clear that, it has negative impact on the society and makes the people life worse. So both the government and the public should take their responsibility to eliminate the bad impacts of advertisement from the depth.
It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are the major source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be informed
about the latest technology
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the markets.
Presently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and on individuals. Here, this essay intends to
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and the possible solution to tackle this issue.

There are manifold points to endorse how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has
badly
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and on human beings.
First
and the foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being extravagant on shopping of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
being influenced
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. To demonstrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
pay much amount of money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
team


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
disseminate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
team
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
species to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
about special discount, offers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which
really
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Due to which, the quantity of solid wastes and non-degradable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
like plastics increase and
automatically
the problems of pollution, degradation of land arise on the environment of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Besides
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by the
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
various facial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Then, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them with the imagination of getting glowing, flawless skin and to remove
Possible spelling mistake found.
acnes
. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have side effects on their faces
instead
of making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
. Taking a real life example into consideration, I have a problem of
Possible spelling mistake found.
acnes on
my oily face.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I brought a face cream which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it was worthless.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
provides the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on the community and on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

What can
be done
to combat these effects.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
agency that they should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to disseminate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. If they do like that, their licenses of producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
should
be canceled
and should
be charged
with money.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be conscious and should not be
easily
influenced by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they are using in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Lastly
, public awareness should
be raised
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
telling that how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming hypocrite by providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
to earn money.

To recapitulate,
Undeniably
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something new.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life worse.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the public should take their responsibility to eliminate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
from the depth.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Advertisement brings many negative effect on people and the society. What are these problem? How to solve this problems? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
428 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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