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name a famous or influential figure that has inspired you. Describe this person and say why he/ she has been inspirational to you. v.1

name a famous or influential figure that has inspired you. Describe this person and say why he/ she has been inspirational to you. v. 1
Many people believe that third word countries need financial support from the international community whereas others take the opposite view and claims that developing nations need education, infrastructure development, health care and community based development programs. While practical aid and policy programs have their own merits I would argue that financial aid plays an integral role in supporting poor countries. On the one hand, community based programs and strategic advice are extremely important for developing countries. One reason is that, practical aid programs such as vaccination to prevent major diseases, developing medical and education centres and supporting structures are needed to resolve existing social problems. For example, thousands of vulnerable children in Africa have been saved by International aid programs from agencies such as the International Cross Organization and Doctors Without Borders Organization provides aid which has proven successful in rescuing the general population of these countries from disease and starvation. Another reason is that most national leaders have their own limited vision or knowledge of strategic development. Expert Consultants from international groups could help them optimize and manage development policies for all programs. This would be a positive impact on all aspects of their country's programs. The result would lead the nation to future prosperity for their citizens. On the other hand, I would argue that financial support from the international community plays a significant role for poor nations. Firstly, if the governments had enough money in their budgets, they could promote small businesses for people with a low interest loan. The result being, many people could make ends meet and stop the poverty cycle. Secondly, traffic infrastructure in poor countries could be improved by investing aid money to build concrete roads, highways and bridges which could connect the remote areas to cities. Therefore, trading and travelling could help increase rural development and the economy. Furthermore, aid money could be used to improve the educational system so that universal education could be implemented. When children are educated and can use their knowledge, it helps develop much needed career prospects for the future. In conclusion, although specific aid and consultants are beneficial in some ways for developing countries, I believe that financial support is more beneficial for third word countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that third word
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
support from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
whereas others take the opposite view and claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
nations need education, infrastructure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, health care and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. While practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
and policy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
plays an integral role in supporting poor countries.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and strategic advice are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. One reason is that, practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
such as vaccination to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
major diseases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
medical and education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and supporting structures
are needed
to resolve existing social problems.
For example
, thousands of vulnerable children in Africa have
been saved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
from agencies such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
Cross Organization and Doctors Without Borders Organization provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
which has proven successful in rescuing the general population of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
from disease and starvation. Another reason is that most national leaders have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
limited vision or knowledge of strategic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. Expert Consultants from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
groups could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them optimize and manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
policies for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. This would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on all aspects of their country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. The result would lead the nation to future prosperity for their citizens.

On the other hand
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
support from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
plays a significant role for poor nations.
Firstly
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money in their budgets, they could promote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with a low interest loan. The result being,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the poverty cycle.
Secondly
, traffic infrastructure in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
money to build concrete roads, highways and bridges which could connect the remote areas to cities.
Therefore
, trading and travelling could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
increase rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and the economy.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
money could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the educational system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that universal education could
be implemented
. When children
are educated
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their knowledge, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
develop
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
career prospects for the future.

In conclusion
, although specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
and consultants are beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
support is more beneficial for third word
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay name a famous or influential figure that has inspired you. Describe this person and say why he/ she has been inspirational to you. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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