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does technology make our lives simpler or more complex? use details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

does technology make our lives simpler or more complex? use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
Nowadays, private vehicles such as cars are increasing day by day. It is argued that cars should be banned from the downtown because it creates more traffic and pollution. I completely agree with this view. To begin with, cars should be banned because it has a bad impact on the environment and people's health. The pollution from car exhaust affects the health of people because it creates air pollution. For example, in the Delhi majority of people are suffering from disease such as asthma due to air pollution. The second reason is that it increases the level of traffic congestion. Which may cause the rise in road accidents. Moreover, it attacks the artwork, historic and main buildings of the city centre. Last but not the least reason is that it creates noise pollution in cities. Due to this many people face the problems regarding to their mind such as stress and depression. Hence, cars should be banned to save the environment and the lives of people. On the flip side, some school of thoughts thinks that cars should not be banned. Firstly, many people are working in the city centre and private vehicles are essential for them to reach at work on time. The second reason is that children and old age people can not walk for a long time, so for their convenience cars should not be banned. To conclude, cars should be banned due to environmental and health issues. This will encourage people to use bicycles by which they can improve their health.
Nowadays, private vehicles such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are increasing day by day. It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
from the downtown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it creates more traffic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on the environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
exhaust affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it creates air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
For example
, in the Delhi majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from disease such as asthma due to air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. The second reason is that it increases the level of traffic congestion.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
may cause the rise in road accidents.
Moreover
, it attacks the artwork, historic and main buildings of the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least reason is that it creates noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in cities. Due to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face the problems
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
their mind such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
to save the environment and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the flip side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
school of thoughts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and private vehicles are essential for them to reach at work on time. The second reason is that children and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not walk for a long time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for their convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should not
be banned
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
due to environmental and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues. This will encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
bicycles by which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay does technology make our lives simpler or more complex? use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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