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Talk about a person in your life who has inspired you. Describe the person and explain why you found him/her inspirational. v.1

Talk about a person in your life who has inspired you. Describe the person and explain why you found him/her inspirational. v. 1
There are several unique methods undertaken by countries round the world to deal with the poverty issues and the poor people. While, absence of the better education and equal job opportunities could be some of the potential reasons for poverty. Whilst, providing the best education to everyone along with applicable law giving equal opportunities could be some of the potential alternatives to curb the poverty worldwide. With rising poverty across countries in the world, this is indeed an important and pivotal issue to handle, which contributes to the overall growth of the country. The education plays an important role in upbringing of an individual, and also prepares to compete in this competitive market. Today, largely market is driven on the merit of people, and someone with potential could extend opportunity for anyone. The recent research paper published by the famous daily “The Times” suggests that 50% of the population are below the poverty line today, with the improvisation of education system poverty can be curbed by 90% by the year 2020. The education system shall be designed by the government in such a way which shall be imparted to everyone. The Government, should subsidize the education, common to all. Moreover, the campaign such as “Each one Teach one” shall also be considered as an additional option. Furthermore, the job opportunities in sectors like the government, public sectors, etc. , should be available to everyone based on merits. Therefore, this will help people to put the efforts and achieve jobs in the long run. In summary, the education system and the job opportunities extended to everyone shall be based on the merits could be potential options to reduce, if not abolish the poverty issue.
There are several unique methods undertaken by countries round the world to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
issues and the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. While, absence of the better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
could be
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potential
reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. Whilst, providing the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
along with applicable law giving equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
could be
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potential
alternatives to curb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
worldwide.

With rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
across countries in the world, this is
indeed
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and pivotal issue to handle, which contributes to the
overall
growth of the country. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in upbringing of an individual, and
also
prepares to compete in this competitive market.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
largely
market
is driven
on the merit of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and someone with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potential
could extend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for anyone. The recent research paper published by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
daily “The Times” suggests that 50% of the population are below the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, with the improvisation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
can
be curbed
by 90% by the year 2020.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system shall
be designed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in such a way which shall
be imparted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
, should subsidize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, common to all.
Moreover
, the campaign such as “Each one Teach one” shall
also
be considered
as an additional option.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in sectors like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, public sectors, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
should be available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
based on merits.
Therefore
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to put the efforts and achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the long run.

In summary, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
extended to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
shall
be based
on the merits could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
potential
options to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
, if not abolish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
issue.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Talk about a person in your life who has inspired you. Describe the person and explain why you found him/her inspirational. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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