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Talk about a person who has inspired you. Describe the person and explainwhy you found him/her inspirational. v.1

Talk about a person who has inspired you. Describe the person and explainwhy you found him/her inspirational. v. 1
In present scenario, there is always a pressure on individuals that where they spend life? Although fewer masses believed that life in advanced cities is more fruitful, but the rest of the people reckon that live in the countryside is more beneficial. Thus, In following piece of writing, I will shed light on both views before forming a plausible conclusion. There are ample of reasons to live in developed cities, but one point which strikes my mind is that that type of area provides great opportunities of employment, as there are lots of industries and other sectors available. Hence living standard of people also improved. For instance, in India, the number of individuals move to big cities like Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata for better jobs. Moreover, other facilities such as transport facility, better health care system also attract dwellers towards improved cities. Conversely, most of the people also in the favour of spending life in small towns. There are myriads of causes for this concern, but most pivotal one is that, residents of towns are free from the stressful lifestyle, as there are lots of natural sites available to spend leisure time, which acts as a stress buster for them. Furthermore, towns are less polluted as compared to the cities. Thus, lots of people preferred to live in towns, consequently it is beneficial for their health. For example, a survey of WHO which reveals that to live in small towns are safer, as more than 45% pollution are spread by large cities in India. In a nutshell, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that each area has its own pros and cons, therefore as per my perception one can choose to live in whether in large city or town by examining both positive and negative aspects.
In present scenario, there is always a pressure on individuals that where they spend life? Although fewer masses believed that life in advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is more fruitful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the countryside is more beneficial.
Thus
, In following piece of writing, I will shed light on both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
forming a plausible conclusion.

There are ample of reasons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one point which strikes my mind is that that type of area provides great opportunities of employment, as there are lots of industries and other sectors available.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
living standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
For instance
, in India, the number of individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
like Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata for better jobs.
Moreover
, other facilities such as transport facility, better health care system
also
attract dwellers towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
cities.

Conversely
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of spending life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
. There are myriads of causes for this concern,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most pivotal one is that, residents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
are free from the stressful lifestyle, as there are lots of natural sites available to spend leisure time, which acts as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster for them.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
are less polluted as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Thus
, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
preferred to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
,
consequently
it is beneficial for their health.
For example
, a survey of WHO which reveals that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
are safer, as more than 45% pollution
are spread
by large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in India.

In a nutshell, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that each area has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons,
therefore
as per my perception one can choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in whether in large city or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
by examining both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about a person who has inspired you. Describe the person and explainwhy you found him/her inspirational. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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