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Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music only brings benefits to individuals and societies. Other, however, think that music can have negative influence on both. Discuss these views and give your own opi v.7

Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music only brings benefits to individuals and societies. Other, however, think that music can have negative influence on both. Discuss these views and give your own opi v. 7
Local authorities are funding for various sectors like, sports. In the same context, there are people who expect that the government should support games requiring physical strength and exercise facilities for all. In my view, this can create a healthy lifestyle and overall well-being of a nation. Additionally, this can create employment prospects for many. To begin with, owing to the sedentary lifestyle many individuals are facing health issues such as, obesity and excessive weight. And, compulsion made by such bodies can oblige people to abide by it. For example, countries like Japan has strict regulations in terms of junk food and unhealthy food consumption. This has prepared a healthy outlook of its people. Hence, encouragement from local bodies to supply free fitness trainings can prove to be effective by minimizing practise of bad habits causing health concerns. Moreover, opening many gymnasiums and fitness centres can support employment options. Enthusiasts as well as beginners can potentially have job opportunities in these places. For instance, in many nations staying fit is a norm and exercises are taught for less or no price. This has not only created jobs for many, but improved the society entirely. Therefore, it implies that more career prospects are possible within these areas. In conclusion, the government spending for free sports and fitness facilities can greatly benefit the masses by opening up career opportunities, and it can also inculcate healthy living among individuals.
Local authorities are funding for various sectors like, sports. In the same context, there are
people
who
expect
that the
government
should support games requiring physical strength and exercise facilities for all. In my view, this can create a healthy lifestyle and
overall
well-being of a nation.
Additionally
, this can create employment prospects for
many
.

To
begin
with, owing to the sedentary lifestyle
many
individuals are facing health issues such as, obesity and excessive weight. And, compulsion made by such bodies can oblige
people
to abide by it.
For example
, countries like Japan has strict regulations in terms of junk food and unhealthy food consumption. This has prepared a healthy outlook of its
people
.
Hence
, encouragement from local bodies to supply free fitness trainings can prove to be effective by minimizing
practise
of
bad
habits causing health concerns.

Moreover
, opening
many
gymnasiums and fitness
centres
can support employment options. Enthusiasts
as well
as beginners can
potentially
have job opportunities in these places.
For instance
, in
many
nations staying fit is a norm and exercises
are taught
for less or no price. This has not
only
created jobs for
many
,
but
improved
the society
entirely
.
Therefore
, it implies that more career prospects are possible within these areas.

In conclusion
, the
government
spending for free sports and fitness facilities can
greatly
benefit the masses by opening up career opportunities, and it can
also
inculcate healthy living among individuals.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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Frank Smith

IELTS essay Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music only brings benefits to individuals and societies. Other, however, think that music can have negative influence on both. Discuss these views and give your own opi v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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