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Music and other arts seem to be features of every society In what ways are music and other arts important for societies and for individuals v.2

Music and other arts seem to be features of every society In what ways are music and other arts important for societies and for individuals v. 2
It is undoubtedly true that various form of arts such as music, dancing, painting, sculpture and others have a huge impact on every society. Throughout this essay, i will explain how various form of arts play an essential role for a community and people. Firstly, art is a part of our history. It educates us about history of mankind. For example, cave painting, which explained the lifestyle of our ancestors. it is a medium to enlighten us about our past. On the other hand, Arts help a country and people economically. For example. plenty of people visit France or Greece to witness to those countries sculpture and historical monuments. As a result, travel industry is booming for them resulted in employment opportunity for lot of people. For example, local people can work a travel guide. So, both community and people are being beneficiary because of its’ strong arts history. Secondly, arts can be considered as a medium of communication. Through the painting people can express their feeling, emotions. To uphold a countries heritage and culture to the entire world art plays a more role. That is why a line goes around us like “A picture can express more than 1000 words”. Sometime people who has linguistic disability, they can draw to express their views. Also, arts can connect lots of people from different parts of the world. It is difficult for people to connect each other due to different language barrier, but through music people can understand each other, can connect soul to soul. Furthermore, music also works as remedy to freshen up our minds, help us to put full concentration in our work. Finally, Arts not only increase social skill but also helps to overcome isolation and loneliness. For example, several types of art exhibition bring lots of people under one roof where they and meet each other and become friend as well. In summary, art is not only a part of our society but also an inseparable part of our life. From economical development of a community to improvement of a person mental health, in every phase it demonstrates an effective way.
It is
undoubtedly
true that various form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
such as music, dancing, painting, sculpture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
have a huge impact on every society. Throughout this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how various form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
play an essential role for a community and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of our history. It educates us about history of mankind. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, cave painting, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
the lifestyle of our ancestors.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is a medium to enlighten us about our past. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
economically
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit France or Greece to witness to those countries sculpture and historical monuments.
As a result
, travel industry is booming for them resulted in employment opportunity for
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can work a travel guide.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, both community and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being beneficiary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
An apostrophe is never used to form possessive case pronouns. Did you mean: "its"?
its’
strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
history.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can
be considered
as a medium of communication. Through the painting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can express their feeling, emotions. To uphold a countries heritage and culture to the entire world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
plays a more role.
That is
why a line goes around us like “A picture can express more than 1000 words”. Sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
linguistic disability, they can draw to express their views.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can connect lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of the world. It is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to connect each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
language barrier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
through music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can understand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, can connect soul to soul.
Furthermore
, music
also
works as remedy to freshen up our minds,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to put full concentration in our work.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increase social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to overcome isolation and loneliness. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, several types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
exhibition bring lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under one roof where they and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and become friend
as well
.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of our society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
an inseparable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of our life. From
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
development of a community to improvement of a person mental health, in every phase it demonstrates an effective way.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Music and other arts seem to be features of every society In what ways are music and other arts important for societies and for individuals v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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