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Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. v. 4
According to some people, museums and art galleries should exhibit artwork that reflects regional culture instead of foreign culture. I completely oppose this viewpoint because I believe that museums and art galleries serve as the best place for people of a nation to learn about the culture of another country, and they also contribute to the nation’s economy. To begin with, people already have several opportunities to learn a lot about their country’s tradition and history from their elders at home or teachers at school. Therefore, they do not like to visit museum or art gallery that displays artwork of culture already known to them. However, they show a keen interest to gain knowledge of the culture of other countries that they cannot afford to visit and do not already have knowledge of. Thus, they like to visit only those museums which display the artwork of other countries. In addition to this, when museums and art galleries display the history of a foreign country, they can make a financial contribution to a country’s economy. When museums display only native artwork, people do not like to shell out extra bucks to purchase the entry ticket because they feel they are not going to learn anything new. On the contrary, when people feel that they have an opportunity to grasp knowledge about the history of other countries, they are not reluctant to pay for the tickets. Therefore, museums that possess foreign artefacts can contribute to the economy of a nation. In conclusion, I strongly believe that museums and art galleries should not limit themselves to local artwork; rather they should showcase foreign sculpture and artwork as this practice helps people to learn about the culture of other countries without leaving their country.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
should exhibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
that reflects regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. I completely oppose this viewpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
serve as the best place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a nation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, and they
also
contribute to the nation’s economy.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
already have several opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a lot about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
tradition and history from their elders at home or teachers at school.
Therefore
, they do not like to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
displays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
already known to them.
However
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a keen interest to gain knowledge of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that they cannot afford to visit and do not already have knowledge of.
Thus
, they like to visit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
display
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

In addition
to this, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
display
the history of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a financial contribution to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
display
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not like to shell out extra bucks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the entry ticket
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel they are not going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
anything new.
On the contrary
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that they have an opportunity to grasp knowledge about the history of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they are not reluctant to pay for the tickets.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
that possess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
can contribute to the economy of a nation.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
should not limit themselves to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
;
rather
they should showcase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
sculpture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artwork
as this practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
without leaving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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