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Task 2: Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler? v.1

Task 2: Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler? v. 1
It is true that more and more people like travelling, and traveller rate increase higher than lots of before period time. This assay will provide some reasons why to have this statement; in addition, it brings a several advantages for people. There is a tendency for people to like to travel, due to some causes. Firstly, trips help people to cut down on stress after long days busy with working because of pressure from the job. For instance, holidays with family and friends bring people is that relaxation and excellent memories. Secondly, people want to explore amazing things around the world. Obviously, travelling is one of the most things makes people know the culture of other countries. For example, Thailand attracts many visitors to travel by ancient temples, such as white temple, blue temple and so on. Tourism plays a vital role in developing society, and it increases a great deal of benefits for people. To begin with, young people usually tend to travel; additionally, this makes them to become more confident and independent. For instance, when people go travel, they have to face with a lot of unexpected situations; therefore, this makes people more mature. Finally, people have the opportunity to improve language skills through travelling. To illustrate, if people communicate with Americans and England, their speaking English skill will grow. In conclusion, many people like to travel because they want to rest after busy working and discover wonderful landscapes in everywhere. Moreover, travelling bring lots of benefits for people as it helps people to become more independent and that is the chance to improve language skills.
It is true that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
rate increase higher than lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
period time. This assay will provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why to have this statement;
in addition
, it brings a several advantages for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

There is a tendency for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes.
Firstly
, trips
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after long days busy with working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of pressure from the job.
For instance
, holidays with family and friends bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
that relaxation and excellent memories.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to explore amazing things around the world.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is one of the most things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know the culture of other countries.
For example
, Thailand attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
visitors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by ancient temples, such as white temple, blue temple and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Tourism plays a vital role in developing society, and it increases a great deal of benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
;
additionally
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to become more confident and independent.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
unexpected situations;
therefore
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more mature.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. To illustrate, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate with Americans and England, their speaking English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
will grow.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to rest after busy working and discover wonderful landscapes in everywhere.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
bring lots of benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become more independent and
that is
the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Task 2: Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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