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Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. v. 1
Museums and art galleries essentially showcase significant histories and artworks to the general audience both to educate them and to preserve important artefacts. Though some people advocate for an international collection in such important places, I firmly believe that local works and national history should always get the highest priority. To begin with, a single museum can not represent all the important histories of the world due to space and budget issues, and the organisers of public art galleries need an exorbitant amount of money to display famous foreign artworks or sculptures. Thus, a museum should focus on becoming a place where people would learn about their own history and culture rather than being a place where they would wonder what the collections are all about. Visitors of a museum or an art gallery, which even include schoolgoers, should able to relate the items they see so that they get inspired to foster nationalism and learn about their country, heritage and culture. Moreover, museums and art exhibits are frequently visited by foreigners who want to get a glimpse of the local culture and history rather than seeing items that they have already seen in other museums perhaps in some other countries. So museums and similar other places become more acceptable when they conserve local culture and present national history. For instance, most of the tourists in my country find the national museum more interesting than other museums we have because our national museum offers a true insight into our past and heritage. Finally, preserving national history and artefacts in a museum and encouraging aspiring local artists makes more sense. To conclude, museums and art galleries have significant roles in teaching people about their past and nurturing the talents of enthusiastic artists. It is more important that they have local collections and not foreign relics and arts which have little or no meaning to people who visit them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
essentially
showcase significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
histories
and artworks to the general audience both to educate them and to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
advocate for an international collection in such
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important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
works and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
should always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the highest priority.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can not represent all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
histories
of the world due to space and budget issues, and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisers' is British English.
organisers
of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
need an exorbitant amount of money to display
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
foreign artworks or sculptures.
Thus
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
should focus on becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would learn about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and culture
rather
than being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where they would wonder what the collections are all about. Visitors of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
or an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
, which even include
Possible spelling mistake found.
schoolgoers
,
Did you mean "should be able"?
should able
to relate the items they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inspired to foster nationalism and learn about their country, heritage and culture.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
exhibits are
frequently
visited by foreigners who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a glimpse of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
rather
than seeing items that they have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
perhaps in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
become more acceptable when they conserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture and present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
For instance
, most of the tourists in my country find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
more interesting than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
offers a true insight into our past and heritage.
Finally
, preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and encouraging aspiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
more sense.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
have significant roles in teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about their past and nurturing the talents of enthusiastic artists. It is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
that they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
collections and not foreign relics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no meaning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who visit them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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