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Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. v. 2
In the recent times, the idea that artificially intelligent robots will take over jobs is gaining traction. While it is perfectly possible for computers to perform menial jobs, it's unlikely they will be able to accomplish the tasks that require human intervention. This essay will ponder why all jobs can't be done by computers. Robots might eventually take over the jobs that do not require complex and critical human thinking. Because having robots in the workforce is far more advantageous than having humans, since they can work relentlessly without having to experience any physical exhaustion like their human counterparts. Moreover, you don't have to go through the process of recruiting and training which are often time consuming. And the best part is we don't have to pay robots. In united states itself many employees lost their jobs due to automation. Cost effectiveness and the ease of management are the key reasons robots will flourish in work places in the near future. On the other hand, it is simply impossible to enlist robots in the work that requires human touch. These jobs include medicine, education, counselling to name a few. It is simply illogical to expect a computer managed robot to perform the things that involve critical and analytical thinking which are major traits of a human mind. So, it is unlikely, at least in the near future to produce robots that accurately represent human intellect and logical thinking. To conclude, there is every possibility that robots will eventually replace all the unskilled jobs, but it is unlikely that robots will ever take over the jobs that needs the emotional intelligence of a human being. Ultimately, not many jobs are safe with the advancements in the fields of artificial intelligence and robotics.
In the recent times, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
artificially
intelligent robots will take over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is gaining traction. While it is
perfectly
possible for computers to perform menial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, it's unlikely they will be able to accomplish the tasks that require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
intervention. This essay will ponder why all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can't
be done
by computers.

Robots might
eventually
take over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that do not require complex and critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
thinking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
having robots in the workforce is far more advantageous than having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, since they can work
relentlessly
without having to experience any physical exhaustion like their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
counterparts.
Moreover
, you don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go through the process of recruiting and training which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
. And the best part is we don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay robots. In
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
united states
itself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees lost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
due to automation.
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Cost effectiveness
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of management are the key reasons robots will flourish in work places in the near future.

On the other hand
, it is
simply
impossible to enlist robots in the work that requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
touch. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
include medicine, education, counselling to name a few. It is
simply
illogical to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a computer managed robot to perform the things that involve critical and analytical thinking which are major traits of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is unlikely, at least in the near future to produce robots that
accurately
represent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
intellect and logical thinking.

To conclude
, there is every possibility that robots will
eventually
replace all the unskilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is unlikely that robots will ever take over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that needs the emotional intelligence of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being.
Ultimately
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are safe with the advancements in the fields of artificial intelligence and robotics.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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