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Movies are popular all over the world Explain why movies are so popular Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer v.2

Movies are popular all over the world Explain why movies are so popular Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer v. 2
People are loving to get entertainment by means of media such as, radio, television, newspaper etc. Although the source of entertainment is diverse but their popularity is varying from time to time according to the advancement of the technology. The given prompt says, movies are the most popular of all existing entertainment in the world, some would agree, others would have been disagreed with this. In my view, movies are the most popular among all entertainment because of the following two crucial reason. The main reason is that in the 21st century due to the technological advancement movies has get the chance to disperse towards the last corner of the world. As a result movie helps to expose the real world phenomena more vividly and also in crystal way and it acts like a mirror to present the world. It entails the possible issues regarding the world clearly enough than other medium. For example, in “2012” movie, where the producer delineates the possible impact of destruction of the world due the change happening in the world. From climate change, deforestation, using vast amount of non-renewable energy to geological changes have been deployed in this movie. When I was in class nine in 2008 I saw this movie and bemused to see the cataclysmic events. These depictions are not surreal. They are the real truth of our everyday world. By delineating these ugly truth, the producer warn us the impact of the coming apocalypse. As you can see that movie is the influential media to draw a parallel presentation of our everyday world and make us wary before the actual events. Another reason is that, movie is a great source to build a morally fruitful person and also one of the best source to teach a didactic lesson. Many movies were have been created on different religion to reveal the essence of religion. From Jews to Islam, movie is always powerful to build a moral person. For instance, when I was 15 years old I had got the chance to saw a movie named “Mohammad the Messenger of The God” In this movie the produce from Iran delineates the life history of the greatest prophet of Islam. By seeing this movie I was thrilled and got the chance to think about the man Muhammad. It actually jerked me a lot and later in my life I tried to hold his belief and idealism. The power of movie is far-reaching from one end to the other. This lesson taught me that, movies influence to build up better life is undoubted. In conclusion, someone might have been disagreed with the popularity and influence regarding the movie by describing their opinions. But in long run it will not a solid stand. As movie provoke not only let us to know the world as a mirror but also helps to build our character as a moral human being. Hence, there should not to keep enough place to doubt about the popularity of the movie.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
The verb 'loving' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are loving
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
entertainment by means of media such as, radio, television, newspaper etc. Although the source of entertainment is diverse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their popularity is varying from time to time according to the advancement of the technology. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
prompt says,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are the most popular of all existing entertainment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, others would have
been disagreed
with this. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are the most popular among all entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following two crucial reason.

The main reason is that in the 21st century due to the technological advancement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
has
Use past participle here: "got", "gotten".
get
the chance to disperse towards the last corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
As a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to expose the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
phenomena more
vividly
and
also
in crystal way and it acts like a mirror to present the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. It entails the possible issues regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
clearly
Use "(enough)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
enough
than other medium.
For example
, in “2012”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
, where the producer delineates the possible impact of destruction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
due the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
happening in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. From climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, deforestation, using vast amount of non-renewable energy to geological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have
been deployed
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
. When I was in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
nine in 2008 I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
and bemused to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the cataclysmic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. These depictions are not surreal. They are the real truth of our everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. By delineating these ugly truth, the producer warn us the impact of the coming apocalypse. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is the influential media to draw a parallel presentation of our everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us wary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the actual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

Another reason is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is a great source to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
morally
fruitful person and
also
one of the best source to teach a didactic lesson.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
were
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
been created
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religion to reveal the essence of religion. From Jews to Islam,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is always powerful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a moral person.
For instance
, when I was 15 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
named “Mohammad the Messenger of The God” In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
the produce from Iran delineates the life history of the greatest prophet of Islam. By seeing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
I
was thrilled
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
Muhammad. It actually jerked me a lot and later in my life I tried to hold his belief and idealism. The power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is far-reaching from one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to the other. This lesson taught me that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
influence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
up better life
is undoubted
.

In conclusion
, someone might have
been disagreed
with the popularity and influence regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
by describing their opinions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in long run it will not a solid stand. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
provoke not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us to know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as a mirror
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
our character as a moral human being.
Hence
, there should not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
place to doubt about the popularity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Movies are popular all over the world Explain why movies are so popular Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
499 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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