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Many old buildings are protected by law are part of a nation history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. How important is to maintain old buildings. Should history stand in the way of progress. v.2

Many old buildings are protected by law are part of a nation history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. How important is to maintain old buildings. Should history stand in the way of progress. v. 2
In this modern era, Everything is customised in a new way such as cars, clothes, buildings. Due to this, some people reckon that old buildings. However, plenty of buildings have a historical significance, so they are protected under law. From my perspective, it is crucial to secure these infrastructures not only because some of has historical background but also they have more pros too, but this does not mean progress should stop. One argument to put forward is that, these old constructions provide an insight into history. Moreover, they showed, How people used to live many centuries ago? For instance, Mohenj Daro and Harappa are the two biggest cities of Indus Valley which illustrates the livelihood of ancient Egypt and many more interesting facts about our past. this is a boon for school-goers to understand the history of world by visiting these type of archaeological places. Additionally these kinds of constructions increases the tourism. By and large, these helps in enhancing the economy of the country. On the other hand, it is argued that, will these buildings prevent the development, if they preserve? Generally speaking, No these buildings do not hinder the progress. What this means is, these archaeological sites are being used for modern purposes, whilst, maintaining their authenticity. Ipso facto, they will become an interesting and new way of learning. A good illustration for this is, directors of mythological and historical movies utilised these types of sites for depicting more originality in their content. Apart from it, learning history from books is a very boring medium to introduce students about our past. it is conspicuous, from the points stated above that, it will be more beneficial for society, whether they preserved, renovated and protected. I believe that, these old constructions teaches the plethora of things to the Homo sapiens which helped in making bright future.
In this modern era, Everything is
Possible spelling mistake. 'customised' is British English.
customised
Consider replacing "in a new way" with the adverb for "new"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a new way
such as cars, clothes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. Due to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reckon that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have a historical significance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
are protected
under law. From my perspective, it is crucial to secure these infrastructures not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of has historical background
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they have more pros too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this does not mean progress should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
.

One argument to put forward is that, these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
constructions provide an insight into history.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
, How
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
centuries ago?
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mohenj
Possible spelling mistake found.
Daro
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Harappa
are the two biggest cities of Indus Valley which illustrates the livelihood of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
ancient Egypt
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more interesting facts about our past.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is a boon for school-goers to understand the history of world by visiting these type of archaeological places.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
these kinds of constructions increases the tourism. By and large, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in enhancing the economy of the country.

On the other hand
, it
is argued
that, will these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the development, if they preserve?
Generally
speaking,
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
No
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
do not hinder the progress. What this means is, these archaeological sites are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for modern purposes, whilst, maintaining their authenticity.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ipso
Possible spelling mistake found.
facto
, they will become an interesting and new way of learning. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration for this is, directors of mythological and historical movies
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
these types of sites for depicting more originality in their content. Apart from it, learning history from books is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
boring medium to introduce students about our past.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is conspicuous, from the points stated above that, it will be more beneficial for society, whether they preserved, renovated and protected. I believe that, these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
constructions teaches the plethora of things to the Homo sapiens which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in making bright future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Many old buildings are protected by law are part of a nation history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. How important is to maintain old buildings. Should history stand in the way of progress. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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