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People learn better from those at their own level—such as teachers or supervisors—then from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors v.2

People learn better from those at their own level—such as teachers or supervisors—then from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors v. 2
Questions surrounding who people’s best teachers are have been ongoing in the recent years, especially after the development of technology. In fact, young people seem more comfortable learning from their fellow students or colleagues than from older people since they share the same interests. While some people believe that co-workers and friends make people learn better, others believe that learning from teachers or supervisors is more effective and helpful. In my opinion, people learn concept and gain expertise better from older people than from fellow colleagues. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First, older people are the best teachers since they are positive role-model for younger people. In fact, they can give them some advice and teach them what is wrong and what is right. Besides, their life lessons make the youngsters reflect upon their mistakes: in this way, they become more mature and take the responsibility for their own life. If young people did not follow someone who is at a higher level and they were just influenced by their fellow friends, they would make bad decisions. My cousin' s experience is a compelling example of this. When he was freshman at high school, he became extremely close with some shady people, he did not focus on his studies and he did not accept his parents' advice. Consequently, he abandoned high school and he is now unemployed with a few job prospects. Thus, teachers can be great role-model to follow and help young people to have a successful life. Second, people who are at a higher level have more experience and they can teach you a lot of new things. For instance, if I had not had a teacher who patiently explained physics to me, I could never have developed a passion for this subject and an interest in nature' s laws. Learning from older people improves your knowledge and broaden your horizons. I would never have decided to study mechanical engineering in Turin if my mathematics teacher had not talked to me about the prestigious Polytechnic University of Turin. In my opinion, you cannot learn a lot from your fellow students since they do not have more experience than you, they are at your same level and thus they have the same worries and problems as you in their lives. All in all, this essay discussed why people should learn from someone who is at a higher level. This is because they give you some important advice for your life and they can be taken as excellent role-model, and because they improve your knowledge and increase your expertise.
Questions surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
been ongoing in the recent years,
especially
after the development of technology. In fact, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seem more comfortable learning from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fellow
students or colleagues than from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since they share the same interests. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that co-workers and friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
better, others believe that learning from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or supervisors is more effective and helpful. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
concept and gain expertise better from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than from
Consider using "colleagues".
fellow colleagues
. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
since they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role-model for younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In fact, they can give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice and teach them what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and what is right.
Besides
, their life lessons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the youngsters reflect upon their mistakes: in this way, they become more mature and take the responsibility for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life. If young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not follow someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is at a higher
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
level and
they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
influenced by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fellow
friends, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
decisions. My
Possible spelling mistake found.
cousin&
#039; s experience is a compelling example of this. When he was freshman at high school, he became
extremely
close with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
shady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, he did not focus on his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
studies and
he did not accept his
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; advice.
Consequently
, he abandoned high
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
unemployed with a few job prospects.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can be great role-model to follow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a successful life.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are at a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
have more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they can teach you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new things.
For instance
, if I had not had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
patiently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
physics to me, I could never have developed a passion for this subject and an interest in
Possible spelling mistake found.
nature&
#039; s laws. Learning from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
improves
your knowledge and broaden your horizons. I would never have decided to study mechanical engineering in Turin if my mathematics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
had not talked to me about the prestigious Polytechnic University of Turin. In my opinion, you cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a lot from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fellow
students since they do not have more experience than you, they are at your same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
and
thus
they have the same worries and problems as you in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

All in all, this essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is at a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they give you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advice for your
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they can
be taken
as excellent role-model, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your knowledge and increase your expertise.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay People learn better from those at their own level—such as teachers or supervisors—then from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
439 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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