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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement People nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities Use specific examples and reasons to support your opinions v.2

People nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities Use specific examples and reasons to support your opinions v. 2
Communities plays a very important role in our life. The place where we live beside peoples are our neighbor and the collection of neighbor is form the community. Nowadays people are not giving enough time to help their community, some would agree, others would disagree with this statement. In my view, we are not giving enough time to help our next-doers because of the following two important reason. The main reason is that, we are living now a single family rather than living joint family that ultimately made us parochial. The family we are now prefer to live only consist of two or three members, but before our family consist mostly our parents, their parents, uncles and also their family member. For example, I was raised in a joint family in a remote village of Bangladesh and my family consist of father, mother, sister, aunt, grandparents, and brother. Our family and other family in the village were living in a harmony. Each and every ceremony we were used to inviting other families in our house and we were passing good time with them. And also during afflictions or disease we were used to helping and supporting other families. This type of living is always more meaningful than today living style. Today we have not enough time to pay attention other families and we don’t care others. And this type of living is somewhat clumsy and whimsical. As you can see that by living with others, by sharing merriment and enjoyment with others is more meaningful than living in a secluded ways where no one cares other. Another reason is that as technological flood has been swept our lives, now people only busy with themselves. The advancement of internet, several social medias has taught us to lead a life where paying attention in Facebook feeds, sharing our moments and communicate via Messenger and E-mail is more prevalent than traditional communication where, communication has done via stamping letter, going our relative house and invite them in special occasion has largely been omitted from our lives. For instance, when I was living in a joint family, we used to send letter to our relatives, waiting for a long time to get their phone call. These activities was more joys and helped to strengthen our relation. One day, a clash occurred in our village with another village and a poor man has been severely injured, immediately we took him to the hospital. If these incident occurred today, no one is coming to help to the injured man. This experience has taught me that the so called change has been drawn by technological innovation is a mere illusion, in reality the ties with our neighborhood has not increased yet rather disrupted and it also belie our actual relation. In sum, some would disagree however the real scenarios is more complex, where our relation with our neighbors is lessen. This is not only hurt our families but also severed our ties with our next-doers, as we have not enough moment to notice them. Hence, we should pay attention to our neighbors to hold a good relation and also to protect the humane hood.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "community plays".
Communities plays
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life. The place where we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
beside peoples are our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbor
and the collection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbor
is form the community. Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their community,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, others would disagree with this statement. In my view, we are not giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our
next
-doers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason.

The main reason is that, we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that
ultimately
made us parochial. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Consider using a past participle here: "preferred".
prefer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consist of two or three members,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
consist
mostly
our parents, their parents, uncles and
also
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member.
For example
, I
was raised
in a joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in a remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
of Bangladesh and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
consist of father, mother, sister, aunt, grandparents, and brother. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a harmony. Each and every ceremony we were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to inviting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
house and
we were passing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them. And
also
during afflictions or disease we were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to helping and supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is always more meaningful than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
style.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to pay attention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
families and
we don’t care others. And this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is somewhat clumsy and whimsical. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with others, by sharing merriment and enjoyment with others is more meaningful than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a secluded
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "way"?
ways
where no one cares other.

Another reason is that as technological flood has
been swept
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
busy with themselves. The advancement of internet, several social medias has taught us to lead a life where paying attention
The usual collocation for "Facebook" is "on". Did you mean "on Facebook"?
in Facebook
feeds, sharing our moments and communicate via Messenger and E-mail is more prevalent than traditional communication where, communication has done via stamping letter, going our relative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and invite them in special occasion has
largely
been omitted
from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For instance
, when I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
letter to our relatives, waiting for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their phone call. These activities
You should probably use: "were".
was
more joys and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to strengthen our relation. One day, a clash occurred in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
with another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
and a poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has been
severely
injured, immediately we took him to the hospital. If these incident occurred
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, no one is coming to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the injured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. This experience has taught me that the
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
so called
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has
been drawn
by technological innovation is a mere illusion, in reality the ties with our neighborhood has not increased
yet
rather
disrupted and it
also
belie our actual relation.

In sum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would disagree
however
the real scenarios is more complex, where our relation with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
is
Consider using a past participle here: "lessened".
lessen
. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hurt our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
severed our ties with our
next
-doers, as we have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
moment to notice them.
Hence
, we should pay attention to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
to hold a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relation and
also
to protect the humane hood.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay People nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities Use specific examples and reasons to support your opinions v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
527 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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