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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement People nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities Use specific examples and reasons to support your opinions v.2

People nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities Use specific examples and reasons to support your opinions v. 2
Communities plays a very important role in our life. The place where we live beside peoples are our neighbor and the collection of neighbor is form the community. Nowadays people are not giving enough time to help their community, some would agree, others would disagree with this statement. In my view, we are not giving enough time to help our next-doers because of the following two important reason. The main reason is that, we are living now a single family rather than living joint family that ultimately made us parochial. The family we are now prefer to live only consist of two or three members, but before our family consist mostly our parents, their parents, uncles and also their family member. For example, I was raised in a joint family in a remote village of Bangladesh and my family consist of father, mother, sister, aunt, grandparents, and brother. Our family and other family in the village were living in a harmony. Each and every ceremony we were used to inviting other families in our house and we were passing good time with them. And also during afflictions or disease we were used to helping and supporting other families. This type of living is always more meaningful than today living style. Today we have not enough time to pay attention other families and we don’t care others. And this type of living is somewhat clumsy and whimsical. As you can see that by living with others, by sharing merriment and enjoyment with others is more meaningful than living in a secluded ways where no one cares other. Another reason is that as technological flood has been swept our lives, now people only busy with themselves. The advancement of internet, several social medias has taught us to lead a life where paying attention in Facebook feeds, sharing our moments and communicate via Messenger and E-mail is more prevalent than traditional communication where, communication has done via stamping letter, going our relative house and invite them in special occasion has largely been omitted from our lives. For instance, when I was living in a joint family, we used to send letter to our relatives, waiting for a long time to get their phone call. These activities was more joys and helped to strengthen our relation. One day, a clash occurred in our village with another village and a poor man has been severely injured, immediately we took him to the hospital. If these incident occurred today, no one is coming to help to the injured man. This experience has taught me that the so called change has been drawn by technological innovation is a mere illusion, in reality the ties with our neighborhood has not increased yet rather disrupted and it also belie our actual relation. In sum, some would disagree however the real scenarios is more complex, where our relation with our neighbors is lessen. This is not only hurt our families but also severed our ties with our next-doers, as we have not enough moment to notice them. Hence, we should pay attention to our neighbors to hold a good relation and also to protect the humane hood.
Communities plays
a
very
important
role in our life. The place where we
live
beside peoples are our
neighbor
and the collection of
neighbor
is form the community. Nowadays
people
are not giving
enough
time
to
help
their community,
some
would
agree
, others would disagree with this statement. In my view, we are not giving
enough
time
to
help
our
next
-doers
because
of the following two
important
reason.

The main reason is that, we are
living
now
a single
family
rather
than
living
joint
family
that
ultimately
made us parochial. The
family
we are
now
prefer
to
live
only
consist of two or three members,
but
before
our
family
consist
mostly
our parents, their parents, uncles and
also
their
family
member.
For example
, I
was raised
in a joint
family
in a remote
village
of Bangladesh and my
family
consist of father, mother, sister, aunt, grandparents, and brother. Our
family
and
other
family
in the
village
were
living
in a harmony. Each and every ceremony we were
used
to inviting
other
families
in our
house and
we were passing
good
time
with them. And
also
during afflictions or disease we were
used
to helping and supporting
other
families
. This type of
living
is always more meaningful than
today
living
style.
Today
we have not
enough
time
to pay attention
other
families and
we don’t care others. And this type of
living
is somewhat clumsy and whimsical. As you can
see
that by
living
with others, by sharing merriment and enjoyment with others is more meaningful than
living
in a secluded
ways
where no one cares other.

Another reason is that as technological flood has
been swept
our
lives
,
now
people
only
busy with themselves. The advancement of internet, several social medias has taught us to lead a life where paying attention
in Facebook
feeds, sharing our moments and communicate via Messenger and E-mail is more prevalent than traditional communication where, communication has done via stamping letter, going our relative
house
and invite them in special occasion has
largely
been omitted
from our
lives
.
For instance
, when I was
living
in a joint
family
, we
used
to
send
letter to our relatives, waiting for a long
time
to
get
their phone call. These activities
was
more joys and
helped
to strengthen our relation. One day, a clash occurred in our
village
with another
village
and a poor
man
has been
severely
injured, immediately we took him to the hospital. If these incident occurred
today
, no one is coming to
help
to the injured
man
. This experience has taught me that the
so called
change
has
been drawn
by technological innovation is a mere illusion, in reality the ties with our neighborhood has not increased
yet
rather
disrupted and it
also
belie our actual relation.

In sum,
some
would disagree
however
the real scenarios is more complex, where our relation with our
neighbors
is
lessen
. This is not
only
hurt our
families
but
also
severed our ties with our
next
-doers, as we have not
enough
moment to notice them.
Hence
, we should pay attention to our
neighbors
to hold a
good
relation and
also
to protect the humane hood.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay People nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities Use specific examples and reasons to support your opinions v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
527 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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