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Movies are popular all over the world. Explain why movies are so popular. Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer v.1

Movies are popular all over the world. Explain why movies are so popular. Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer v. 1
Some people argue that students learn far more effectively from the traditional way of classroom study that involves teachers, rather than studying via the internet and television. I partly agree with the above opinion. I think other resources including the internet and television can be good supplemental sources of study for adult learners who are engaged in a higher level of education, although, in most cases, teachers play an important role in teaching fundamental knowledge and skills in a classroom. In recent years, a variety of online academic resources are available for free of charge for students all around the world. Likewise, many educational programs are offered on TV, targeting different age groups. These materials are beneficial for students who have the basic understanding of the topic as some online materials are inaccurate and unreliable. If students totally rely on the internet to learn science, for example, they may have trouble finding a website which is suitable to their level of understanding, and the website may include false information. For these reasons, online resources and educational programs on television can be possibly recommended for advanced level students who can judge the information and comprehend the content appropriately. Although websites and educational tv programs are beneficial for students to some extent, teachers continue to play a fundamental role in teaching. Teachers are qualified and trained in teaching; therefore, they have sophisticated academic knowledge and skills to teach in a classroom. However, teachers usually focus on providing basic concepts in a classroom because they teach to a group of students who have different levels of understanding. It would be beneficial for students if the teacher incorporates other sources, including e-learning tools and television in their study as it enhances students' understanding. In conclusion, the web-based learning and the use of educational programs in teaching supply extra sources to deepen students' knowledge, however, I believe that teachers take the basic role to teach new information at school as they are more trustworthy and reliable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn far more
effectively
from the traditional way of classroom study that involves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
rather
than studying via the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above opinion. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
other resources including the internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
supplemental sources of study for adult learners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are engaged
in a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of education, although,
in most cases
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
fundamental knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in a classroom.

In recent years, a variety of online academic resources are available for free of charge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
all around the world.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are offered
on TV, targeting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups. These materials are beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have the basic understanding of the topic as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
online materials are inaccurate and unreliable. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
totally
rely on the internet to learn science,
for example
, they may have trouble finding a website which is suitable to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of understanding, and the website may include false information. For these reasons, online resources and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can be
possibly
recommended for advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can judge the information and comprehend the content
appropriately
.

Although websites and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent,
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teachers
continue to play a fundamental role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
are qualified
and trained in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
;
therefore
, they have sophisticated academic knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to teach in a classroom.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
usually
focus on providing basic concepts in a classroom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they teach to a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of understanding. It would be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
incorporates other sources, including e-learning tools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in their study as it enhances students' understanding.

In conclusion
, the web-based learning and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
supply extra sources to deepen students' knowledge,
however
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
take the basic role to teach new information at school as they are more trustworthy and reliable.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Movies are popular all over the world. Explain why movies are so popular. Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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