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Some people think that computers have made life mush easier and less complicated. Others believe that computers have made their lives more stressful. Which do you agree with and why? v.1

Some people think that computers have made life mush easier and less complicated. Others believe that computers have made their lives more stressful. Which do you agree with and why? v. 1
It has become imperative for students choosing Maths and to learn an international language for finding an important vocation rather than doing craft and acoustic activity on instruments. However, both streams have their own significance, I opine that for selecting a well-paid career former view can provide better growth chances. To begin with, there is a demand of skilled workers across the world which makes the jobs in the field of mathematics more lucrative in terms of money and due to increase of cross-border trade, it is becoming crucial to learn a foreign language, and combination of both not only provides better opportunities but to take a tour of the other countries also. For instance, One of my college friends after completing his studies has joined a multi-national company. Now, he has made a plethora of international official tours. While, on the other hand, learning art ad music make the life more creative instead of doing mundane activities. Moreover, if a person got the success in the field of creativity, he or she could become a star overnight, whereas, the chances of this likelihood are extremely rare because a handful people only get this level of success. To take an example, famous musician and singer Tara Jaiswal told in an interview that he has seen many people struggling to even hand to mouth earnings. To summarise, in the school, to learn all the subjects are compulsory, but from making a career point of view, it is essential to put special emphasis on subjects which can help in building a successful career which in my opinion mathematics and learning a different language can do a miracle.
It has become imperative for students choosing
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
and to learn an international language for finding an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
vocation
rather
than doing craft and acoustic activity on instruments.
However
, both streams have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance, I opine that for selecting a well-paid career former view can provide better growth chances.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is a demand of skilled workers across the world which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the jobs in the field of mathematics more lucrative in terms of money and due to increase of cross-border trade, it is becoming crucial to learn a foreign language, and combination of both not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides better opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to take a tour of the other countries
also
.
For instance
, One of my college friends after completing his studies has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
a multi-national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, he has made a plethora of international official tours.

While,
on the other hand
, learning art ad music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the life more creative
instead
of doing mundane activities.
Moreover
, if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the success in the field of creativity, he or she could become a star overnight, whereas, the chances of this likelihood are
extremely
rare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a handful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this level of success. To take an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
musician and singer Tara
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jaiswal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
in an interview that he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
struggling to even hand to mouth earnings.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, in the school, to learn all the subjects are compulsory,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from making a career point of view, it is essential to put special emphasis on subjects which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in building a successful career which in my opinion mathematics and learning a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
language can do a miracle.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that computers have made life mush easier and less complicated. Others believe that computers have made their lives more stressful. Which do you agree with and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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