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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities v.680

Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities v. 680
Although many people believe that nowadays young people do not help other people in their society, I do strongly disagree with this idea. In my opinion, there are many evidences in our society which show that young people are strongly eager to take part in different social activities such as charities and causes. Moreover, they are very energetic and they can affect their communities in many different ways as well since in the new world they are more knowledgeable than the young people in the past and this gives them special creativity and also deep understanding of others in the society. Doubtless, internet technology has changed our life in various ways. Actually, one of the most important facilities which internet connection provides for young people is helping them to have wide and effective communications with their society. An example from my own life may shed some light on this issue; I know many diverse kinds of causes that are published through the facebook or twiter. Many of young people in my country are really interested in attending them since it helps them gain more experiences; face the realities in the society from different perspective, and also to share a specific activity with their friends in a group work. We should always remember that, many families are interested in hosting an exchange student in their house for a specific period of time. If young people were not helpful members of their communities then many families would not be interested in hosting them. Just imagine that how a young university student could make an old man and woman who live lonely in their house happy. It is obvious that the old couple would benefit from these young students enormously since young students would give them a sense of life and happiness. Another side of the coin, however, relates to the situations in modern societies in which young people are more educated than the past. This knowledge is really helpful for a society since adults would understand other people in the community much better. They can bear with other people specially old people better and in some situations help them since young people may know the origin of some of old people’s problems. Take for instance, a situation in my country, buses in our country are always crowded with too many people, and I have seen that young people always give up their seat to an elderly whom has problems standing up all the way. In conclusion, from an adult who enjoys helping poor children in a charity and finds it a valuable experience, to an adult who bring life back to an old family house that feel very boring and sad, or an adult who understand older people difficulties and problems and tries to help them, we can see that young people like to help their communities and try for achieving this goal. So does not it seem that it is better to encourage them to assist more instead of blaming the by saying why they don’t help to others effectively?
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, I do
strongly
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In my opinion, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
evidences in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
strongly
eager to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
social activities such as charities and causes.
Moreover
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
energetic and
they can affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways
as well
since in the new world they are more knowledgeable than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past and this gives them special creativity and
also
deep understanding of others in the society.

Doubtless, internet technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in various ways. Actually, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
facilities which internet connection provides for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
helping them to have wide and effective communications with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. An example from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on this issue; I know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diverse kinds of causes that
are published
through the
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
twiter
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in my country are
really
interested in attending them since it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them gain more experiences; face the realities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective, and
also
to share a specific activity with their friends in a group work.

We should always remember that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families
are interested
in hosting an exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for a specific period of time. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were not helpful members of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families would not
be interested
in hosting them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
imagine that how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and woman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
lonely in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
happy. It is obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
couple would benefit from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enormously
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would give them a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and happiness.

Another side of the coin,
however
, relates to the situations in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more educated than the past. This knowledge is
really
helpful for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
would understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
much better. They can bear with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
specially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
better and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may know the origin of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
problems. Take
for instance
, a situation in my country, buses in our country are always crowded with too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always give up their seat to an elderly
Did you mean "who" instead of 'whom'?
whom
has problems standing up all the way.

In conclusion
, from an adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
enjoys helping poor children in a charity and finds it a valuable experience, to an adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
back to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
boring and sad, or an adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
understand older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
difficulties and problems and tries to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
and try for achieving this goal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
does not it
Did you mean "seems"?
seem
that it is better to encourage them to assist more
instead
of blaming the by saying why they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to others
effectively
?
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
68Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities v. 680

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
509 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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