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For success in a future job, the abilities to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. agree or disagree. tpo21 v.2

For success in a future job, the abilities to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. agree or disagree. tpo21 v. 2
Taking the proposed question into close consideration, I should mention that without any doubt studying hard at school would bring an individual success in his future job. In order to succeed in jobs, we need knowledge, persistence and creativity. This aim will not be gained unless an individual studies with a lot of efforts at school. To start with, if people want trustworthy jobs, they need to be knowledgeable enough at school. At works, employees need to have various knowledge in different field to obtain the best jobs, but just having a good relationship with people cannot offer them decent jobs. They need to broaden the scope of their knowledge during school times to be eligible for their desirable works. Some jobs require just effective knowledge such as software engineers who write sophisticated program for mobile application, but they do not need to have good communication with clients. Along with having sufficient information on specific field, an individual should be hardworking to be successful at his job. Developing persistence results from studying hard at school. I remember, for example, when I was a high school student, although I had studied hard, I could not get top scores my papers. But I tried studying hard until I was able to get my desirable grade. On the job, while I face obstacles, I have learned that I can get whatever I want such as my favorite job just through hard working, persistence. However, only being able to communicate with others cannot provides the best job with me. Finally, Studying hard at school offers you a decent job because of your creativity in the future. When students pay more attention to their subjects, they have more concentration then they can get valuable points which improve and sharpen their minds, which will result in having creative mind. Many high-paying jobs require creativity. This important issue will not be gained unless we study hard. However, relating well with other people will not assist us in getting prestigious jobs. Since accomplishing goals of all people is to get decent jobs, they have to study hard to be more creative, knowledgeable and hard-working. I hope that all people never underestimate studying at school, which will lead to a student’s future job.
Taking the proposed question into close consideration, I should mention that without any doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
would bring an individual success in his future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In order to succeed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, persistence and creativity. This aim will not
be gained
unless an individual studies with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts at school.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want trustworthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be knowledgeable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. At works, employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
field to obtain the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot offer them decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to broaden the scope of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
times to be eligible for their desirable works.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
such as software engineers who write sophisticated program for mobile application,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication with clients.

Along with having sufficient information on specific field, an individual should be hardworking to be successful at his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Developing persistence results from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I remember,
for example
, when I was a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
student, although I had studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, I could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
top scores my papers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I tried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
until I was able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
my desirable grade. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, while I face obstacles, I have learned that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
whatever I want such as my favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
through
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
, persistence.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
being able to communicate with others cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "provide"
provides
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with me.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
offers you a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of your creativity in the future. When students pay more attention to their subjects, they have more concentration
Did you mean "than"?
then
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
valuable points which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and sharpen their minds, which will result in having creative mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
high-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require creativity. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue will not
be gained
unless we study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
.
However
, relating well with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not assist us in getting prestigious jobs.

Since accomplishing goals of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to be more creative, knowledgeable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working. I hope that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never underestimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which will lead to a student’s future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay For success in a future job, the abilities to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. agree or disagree. tpo21 v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
374 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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