Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. v.3

most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. v. 3
A considerable proportion of people without a home in society is always an inevitable issue nowadays. Many people believe that the best way to decrease the number of homeless people is to give them money for survival. However, giving money is only a temporary solution and cannot eliminate the issue. Therefore, rather than giving money, I believe that offer an employment opportunity is a better way to help homeless people in the long-term. To begin with, many people have overlooked the root that causes the issue of people becoming homeless. One of the reasons that results in people becoming homeless is that they do not have a fixed source of income, and this is often due to their lack of education and skills that enable them to find a job. Hence, providing money to those homeless people cannot help them to sustain a standard living in the future. As a result, there is a chance that homeless people become struggling to make their ends meet again after they have used all the money, and this situation would become like a never-ending cycle. On the other hand, there is also a high probability that homeless people take the money for granted and ask for more when they do not have any left. Therefore, by giving them money is not the best solution, but I believe that given in the form of employment would be a better solution. The main reason is that offering job enables homeless people to sustain a constant source of income, and consequently, they can improve their standard of living. In conclusion, although many people think that the best way to help homeless people in our society is to give them money, I believe that this act is only a temporary solution. For homeless people to have a better living condition in the long-term, it is better to offer employment, which provides a constant income.
A considerable proportion of
people
without a home in society is always an inevitable issue nowadays.
Many
people
believe
that the best way to decrease the number of
homeless
people
is to give them
money
for survival.
However
, giving
money
is
only
a temporary
solution
and cannot eliminate the issue.
Therefore
,
rather
than giving
money
, I
believe
that offer an employment opportunity is a
better
way to
help
homeless
people
in the long-term.

To
begin
with,
many
people
have overlooked the root that causes the issue of
people
becoming
homeless
. One of the reasons that results in
people
becoming
homeless
is that they do not have a
fixed
source of income, and this is
often
due to their lack of education and
skills
that enable them to find a job.
Hence
, providing
money
to those
homeless
people
cannot
help
them to sustain a standard living in the future.
As a result
, there is a chance that
homeless
people
become struggling to
make
their ends
meet
again after they have
used
all the
money
, and this situation would become like a never-ending cycle.

On the other hand
, there is
also
a high probability that
homeless
people
take the
money
for granted and
ask for
more when they do not have any
left
.
Therefore
, by giving them
money
is not the best
solution
,
but
I
believe
that
given
in the form of employment would be a
better
solution
. The main reason is that offering job enables
homeless
people
to sustain a constant source of income, and
consequently
, they can
improve
their standard of living.

In conclusion
, although
many
people
think
that the best way to
help
homeless
people
in our society is to give them
money
, I
believe
that this act is
only
a temporary
solution
. For
homeless
people
to have a
better
living condition in the long-term, it is
better
to offer employment, which provides a constant income.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts