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Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. v. 1
In major part of world, they have crowd of people who do not have home to live in. Few people believe that best approach to help them is by giving them money. This essay will discuss why I completely disagree with this proposition because a handsome amount of money requires for sufficing basic needs and it can be misused. To embark on, it requires a plenty of the monetary help for proper rehabilitation of such number of people, which is not possible by small contributions. There are many basic needs for which ample amount of support requires financially. For example, to provide home for this segment of crowd, it cannot achieve with small contributions. In many countries, there are many people how are sleeping in street and don’t have place to cover their heads. In short, money cannot be a solution to tackle this problem. Furthermore, there might be cases when this money used improperly by these people, they could use this in alcohols, drugs, and gambling. Families of such people would suffer and it does not fulfill motive of donating. For instance, in many poor countries, we could found large number of homeless people, addiction by bad habits and if they get money easily in donation, they would not realize the important of earning money. Clearly, this is wrong idea. In conclusion, this essay discussed why money is not the good way to help homeless people because it cannot completely help with their needs and there is a chance of improper use, if it goes to bad hands. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the proposition that money is not the best way to help roofless crowd.
In major part of world, they have crowd of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that best approach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them is by giving them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This essay will discuss why I completely disagree with this proposition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a handsome amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
requires for sufficing basic needs and it can
be misused
.

To embark on, it requires a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of the monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for proper rehabilitation of such number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which is not possible by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
contributions. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
basic needs for which ample amount of support requires
financially
.
For example
, to provide home for this segment of crowd, it cannot achieve with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
contributions. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how are sleeping in street and don’t have place to cover their heads. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot be a solution to tackle this problem.

Furthermore
, there might be cases when this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
improperly
by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this in alcohols, drugs, and gambling. Families of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would suffer and it does not fulfill motive of donating.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor countries, we could
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
found
large number of homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, addiction by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits and if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
easily
in donation, they would not realize the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Clearly
, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it cannot completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
with their needs and there is a chance of improper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, if it goes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
hands. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the proposition that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
roofless crowd.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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