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Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree? v.5

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. v. 5
A large number of communities have homeless individuals. Several people think the best way that they can be helpful is by giving them money, I disagree with the idea. Firstly, this essay will discuss why is giving money is not beneficial secondly, it will discuss better ways to help. Substance abuse is one of the causes of homelessness. Since addicts are struggling between going to work, paying the bills and their drug problems and because of that a great deal will lose their house in the process. According to a study done by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services in 2016, 36% of homeless people were dependent on alcohol abuse and 31% were abused other drugs. For this reason I’m against the idea of giving homeless people money, as most would use it to buy alcohol or any other type of drugs. And that will aggravate the problem and make the situation worse. However, there is a lot if ways we can be useful, since most are not apple to work and gain money, buying them food, new clothes and if they needs medical care we can also pay for the medical bills. The greatest way we can aid them is by helping them to get back on their feet and that can be done either by paying for the drug rehabilitation center and assisting them to overcome the drug problem if they have one and support them to find a job and a home to live in. In conclusion, giving money to homeless individuals can impact them in a negative way rather than helping and there is a lot of other good approach.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
communities have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
individuals. Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
that they can be helpful is by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss why is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not beneficial
secondly
, it will discuss better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

Substance abuse is one of the causes of homelessness. Since addicts are struggling between going to work, paying the bills and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
problems and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that a great deal will lose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in the process. According to a study done by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services in 2016, 36% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were dependent on alcohol abuse and 31%
were abused
other drugs.

For this reason
I’m against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, as most would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
alcohol or any other type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. And that will aggravate the problem and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the situation worse.

However
, there is a lot if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
we can be useful, since most are not apple to work and gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, buying them food, new clothes and if they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "need"
needs
medical care we can
also
pay for the medical bills. The greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
we can aid them is by helping them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back on their feet and that can
be done
either by paying for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
rehabilitation center and assisting them to overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
problem if they have one and support them to find a job and a home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
individuals can impact them in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
rather
than helping and there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
approach.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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