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In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.5

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 5
Many countries in Europe encourage students to take a gap year after finishing their high school and before enrolling into a University. This helps a student to take a break, think about their goals and enrich their experience. The later teenage is very sensitive. It is the time of maturity, learning to shoulder responsibilities and slowly transforming into a complete adult. Making use of this period properly and efficiently is very essential. Working for some time before joining a University is definitely very helpful, as not only it will help in gaining valuable experience, but also will help a young teenager understand the value of hard earned money. Many young adults in their early years of college are careless about managing their funds. They get ecstatic when they step out of their homes for the very first time, enter into a new phase in life and taste certain freedoms. As a result, many end up squandering cash carelessly on parties, food, accessories and other not so important stuffs. Learning to earn, he will understand the value of money, be more responsible when it comes to saving. Doing a job, before joining the University, will impart the essential knowledge which will prove valuable tomorrow. He/she will learn many important skills like time management, cooperation and leadership. These skills are important throughout an academic and work life. Learning these at an early age is definitely very helpful. Travelling has a charm of its own. Being an avid traveller and having visited over 60 countries around the world, I definitely support and love travelling. Taking small risks, stepping out of the comfort zone in home and exploring new places teaches a lot. Interacting with people of different cultures, learning about their countries and traditions breaks many stereotypes, widens the horizon of knowledge and makes a person humble. By shouldering his own responsibilities, managing and taking care of the funds in a foreign country, taking independent decisions, staying safe, one becomes more matured and developed. After spending a lot 12-14 years in school, this 1 year break from the academic routine can be very refreshing and eye opening. Experience is the best teacher. It allows a fresh change from the regular student life and helps a young adult to explore far and wide places and learn by interacting with people. University studies play an important part in shaping the career and hence it is beneficial if a student is well aware of the future path he is going to embark on. To be successful in his endeavours, he has to make the correct choice and take the right decision at the right time. In many countries and cultures, students are heavily influenced by the society's pressure. They end up making wrong career choices, or just opt for subjects, their parents have chosen for them. Although initially this might seem helpful, but many times, students cannot bear the load of the studies, they lose interest, and eventually drop out or change the department. This causes unnecessary stress and delay. To break the circle it is necessary that a youngster makes a responsible and matured decision regarding his/her future. School teaches us academics, discipline and moral values, but a work-environment and travel experience impart hands on skills and knowledge. In a protective atmosphere, learning is not complete. Learning deepens and becomes more solid when someone learns to step out of the comfort zones and take independent steps slowly. Though a travel or work can help benefit in many ways, but this is not applicable to everyone. Young teenagers tend to be still very immature even at an age of 18 or 19. They do take wrong decisions which impact and changes their lives forever. Not everyone is skilled enough to walk out alone completely in the world outside. They need a few more years to develop themselves, build their education and then explore. Young people are naive and can be fooled easily. Facing colleagues in an office or interacting with people of a new nation with completely different values and culture, can be risky. It can be dangerous if one is not careful and well aware of his/her surroundings. Youngsters, especially young women, are easy targets for drugs, theft, and other exploitation. While stepping outside and new adventures can be exciting and thrilling, but it is also risky if someone is not matured and smart enough. Also, taking a gap year, can be harmful if time is not utilised to advantage. Taking a break from studies, many can get distracted and lose the academic orientation. They can find difficulty in concentrating and might completely lose interest in pursuing a graduate degree. Instead of preparing themselves for a better and constructive future, they might find satisfaction in temporary small jobs. Like everything else, this also has both advantages and disadvantages. Learning comes in various shapes and forms, full of excitement and risks. It is like a roller coaster ride. While we cannot always make the perfect choice, we can put effort towards taking a better one. At the end of the day, a person will have to face both the positive and negative consequences of his decision, so it is important that every choice we make is well researched and responsible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Europe encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after finishing their high school and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
enrolling into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their goals and enrich their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. The later teenage is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensitive. It is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of maturity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to shoulder responsibilities and
slowly
transforming into a complete adult. Making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this period
properly
and
efficiently
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential.

Working for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful, as not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in gaining valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults in their early years of college are careless about managing their funds. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ecstatic when they step out of their homes for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, enter into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
phase in life and taste certain freedoms.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up squandering cash
carelessly
on parties, food, accessories and other not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
stuffs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
to earn, he will understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of money, be more responsible when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to saving.

Doing a job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
, will impart the essential knowledge which will prove valuable tomorrow. He/she will learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management, cooperation and leadership. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
throughout an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and work life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
these at an early age is definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful.

Travelling has a charm of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Being an avid
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
and having visited over 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world, I definitely support and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
travelling. Taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, stepping out of the comfort zone in home and exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
places teaches a lot. Interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and traditions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breaks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stereotypes, widens the horizon of knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a person humble. By shouldering his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibilities, managing and taking care of the funds in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, taking independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
, staying safe, one becomes more matured and developed.

After spending a lot 12-14 years in school, this 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
routine can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
refreshing and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
eye opening
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Experience
is the best teacher. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
a fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from the regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adult to explore far and wide places and learn by interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
studies play an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
part in shaping the career and
hence
it is beneficial if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is well aware of the future path he is going to embark on. To be successful in his
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavours' is British English.
endeavours
, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the correct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
and take the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
at the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and cultures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
heavily
influenced by the society's pressure. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
opt for subjects, their parents have chosen for them. Although
initially
this might seem helpful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot bear the load of the studies, they lose interest, and
eventually
drop out or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the department. This causes unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and delay.

To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
the circle it is necessary that a youngster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a responsible and matured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
regarding his/her future. School teaches us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
, discipline and moral values,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a work-environment and travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
impart hands on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge. In a protective atmosphere,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is not complete.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
deepens and becomes more solid when someone learns to step out of the comfort zones and take independent steps
slowly
.

Though a travel or work can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
benefit in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not applicable to everyone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
tend to be
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
immature even at an age of 18 or 19. They do take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
which impact and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
forever. Not everyone
is skilled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to walk out alone completely in the world outside. They need a few more years to develop themselves, build their education and then explore.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are naive and can
be fooled
easily
. Facing colleagues in an office or interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
nation with completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
values and culture, can be risky. It can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
if one is not careful and well aware of his/her surroundings. Youngsters,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
women, are easy targets for drugs, theft, and other exploitation. While stepping outside and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
adventures can be exciting and thrilling,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
risky if someone is not matured and smart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

Also
, taking a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, can be harmful if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is not
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
to advantage. Taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
from studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted and lose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
orientation. They can find difficulty in concentrating and might completely lose interest in pursuing a graduate degree.
Instead
of preparing themselves for a better and constructive future, they might find satisfaction in temporary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
jobs.

Like everything else, this
also
has both advantages and disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in various shapes and forms, full of excitement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. It is like a roller coaster ride. While we cannot always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
, we can put effort towards taking a better one. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, a person will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
is well researched and responsible.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
85Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 5

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
874 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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