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Most people say what children watch influences their behavior, Others believe that the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviour most. discuss both views and provide your own opinion. v.1

Most people say what children watch influences their behavior, Others believe that the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviour most. v. 1
The influences of watching television contents and spending a great deal time on screen are debatable. Many people believe that watching satellite channel scenario has a great effect on infants' usual behaviour. However, others claim that to spare significant hours on screen leads offsprings to alter their everyday's manner. The essay will discuss both views and put forward evidences as to why the consequence of spending considerable moment on TV motion picture modifies children's demeanour. To watch a violent scene leads children to deviate. Because, they strive to implement what they see on various programs. For instance, a couple of months ago, Bangladesh government banned a live video program, crime patrol. Because it incites turbulences, brutalities. Therefore, the Government prohibited the program. On the other hand, infants who are wasting their golden time before television are becoming solitude day by day. In addition to it, they become peculiar as well as bizarre boy. Because, firstly, they will not be able to introduce themselves with other boys. Therefore, they have few playmates. Furthermore, they founder to invest hours with playfellows. Secondly, for bestowing considerable time on satellite, they attempt to abscond from school by all means. Consequently, they cut a sorry figure to obtain proper and rudimentary education. To illustrate, statistics demonstrate that, increasing number of children are much eager to watch various channels than to go to school in India. As a result, such a way, children are becoming deviant gradually. To conclude, the essay discussed both sides and reached a conclusion that, the reasons for changing a great deal number of children consume much time on video than their fellow, school, and society.
The influences of watching television contents and spending a great deal
time
on screen are debatable.
Many
people
believe that watching satellite channel scenario has a great effect on infants' usual
behaviour
.
However
, others claim that to spare significant hours on screen leads
offsprings
to alter their
everyday
's manner. The essay will discuss both views and put forward evidences as to why the consequence of spending considerable moment on TV motion picture modifies children's
demeanour
.

To
watch
a violent scene leads
children
to deviate.
Because
, they strive to implement what they
see
on various programs.
For instance
, a couple of months ago, Bangladesh
government
banned a
live
video program, crime patrol.
Because
it incites
turbulences
, brutalities.
Therefore
, the
Government
prohibited the program.

On the other hand
, infants who are wasting their golden
time
before
television are becoming solitude day by day.
In addition
to it, they become peculiar
as well
as bizarre boy.
Because
,
firstly
, they will not be able to introduce themselves with other boys.
Therefore
, they have few playmates.
Furthermore
, they founder to invest hours with playfellows.
Secondly
, for bestowing considerable
time
on satellite, they attempt to abscond from school by all means.
Consequently
, they
cut
a sorry figure to obtain proper and rudimentary education. To illustrate, statistics demonstrate that, increasing number of
children
are much eager to
watch
various channels than to go to school in India.
As a result
, such a way,
children
are becoming deviant
gradually
.

To conclude
, the essay discussed both sides and reached a conclusion that, the reasons for changing a great deal number of
children
consume much
time
on
video
than their fellow, school, and society.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Most people say what children watch influences their behavior, Others believe that the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviour most. v. 1

Essay
4 paragraphs
274 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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