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Most people believe that stricter punishment should be given for traffic offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Most people believe that stricter punishment should be given for traffic offences. v. 1
There is no doubt that in recent years road safety is becoming an increasing concern, alongside it’s subsequent rise in traffic offences. I agree with the majority that such offenders should be faced with strict penalties. First and foremost, it is necessary to find alternative measures to punish minor offences, like speeding, jaywalking and other violations. Studies have shown that a penalty by itself will not be adequate to deter such circumstances from further occurring in the future. Instead of merely charging a fine, a court-ordered period of volunteering work will not only lead to their reformation, but would also be useful for the betterment of society. Conversely, if such offences were only met with a small punishment, then people would not fear the consequences, and thus, would not be adequately motivated to improve road safety. Furthermore, major offences should have legislature that is strictly enforced in order to safeguard the streets. I believe that offences such as driving under the influence, and hit-and-run should be made non-bailable and these criminals should face an period of jail time. Less serious cases like rash driving should be threatened with suspension of license or even revoked depending on the type and number of misdemeanours. As a result, fewer people will be prone to accidents, thereby, improving the safety of both the commuters and the pedestrians. To conclude, I believe that’s traffic violations should not only be met with fines, but also with stricter punishments, such as license suspension and jail terms to prevent a threat to the safety of citizens.
There is no doubt that in recent years road safety is becoming an increasing concern, alongside
it’s
subsequent rise in traffic
offences
. I
agree
with the majority that such offenders should
be faced
with strict penalties.

First
and foremost, it is necessary to find alternative measures to punish minor
offences
, like speeding, jaywalking and other violations. Studies have shown that a penalty by itself will not be adequate to deter such circumstances from
further
occurring in the future.
Instead
of
merely
charging a fine, a court-ordered period of volunteering work will not
only
lead to their reformation,
but
would
also
be useful for the betterment of society.
Conversely
, if such
offences
were
only
met with a
small
punishment, then
people
would not fear the consequences, and
thus
, would not be
adequately
motivated to
improve
road safety.

Furthermore
, major
offences
should have legislature
that is
strictly
enforced in order to safeguard the streets. I believe that
offences
such as driving under the influence, and hit-and-run should
be made
non-bailable and these criminals should face
an
period of jail time. Less serious cases like rash driving should
be threatened
with suspension of license or even revoked depending on the type and number of
misdemeanours
.
As a result
, fewer
people
will be prone to accidents, thereby, improving the safety of both the commuters and the pedestrians.

To conclude
, I believe that’s traffic violations should not
only
be met
with fines,
but
also
with stricter punishments, such as license suspension and jail terms to
prevent
a threat to the safety of citizens.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Most people believe that stricter punishment should be given for traffic offences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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