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Some people think that the only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that the only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. v. 1
Life is very precious, and many people die annually around the world as a result of reckless driving. Most of the experts believe that imposing heavy penalties for unlawfully driving is the better solution, whereas others argue that there should be other methods. I believe that the first argument is a better method. However, there should be other actions too to produce obedient drivers. Undoubtedly human errors can happen, and should not ignore. Even though it is a human error, the driver should be punished, with a warning. These warnings can accumulate in a point system and could provide negative marks. Heavy penalties will increase the stress of the drivers and ultimately lose confidence in driving. Nevertheless, there are many scenarios of unlawful driving. To name a few, young drivers seek thrill while over speeding, bike riders enjoy riding on a single wheel, and few people even drive while they are drunk. As long as these offences are done deliberately, there should be heavy penalties to control this behaviour. These penalties can be in the form of a large sum of fines, suspending the driving license, and even imprisonment. However, all the drivers should be appropriately educated on road rules and regulations before providing a driving license. Not only that, there should be a probationary period to observe a new license, and people who will be caught with driving offences should not be allowed to get a permanent driving license unless they go through a proper driving test again. In conclusion, much strick punishments should be imposed to improve road safety while the governments should take more precautions on educating the drivers on road rules and regulations.
Life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precious, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
annually
around the world
as a result
of reckless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. Most of the experts believe that imposing heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
for
unlawfully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
is the better solution, whereas others argue that there should be other methods. I believe that the
first
argument is a better method.
However
, there should be other actions too to produce obedient drivers.

Undoubtedly
human errors can happen, and should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
Even though
it is a human error, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
should
be punished
, with a warning. These warnings can accumulate in a point system and could provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
marks. Heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
will increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
and
ultimately
lose confidence in driving.

Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scenarios of unlawful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. To name a few, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
seek thrill while over speeding, bike riders enjoy riding on a single wheel, and few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
even drive while they
are drunk
. As long as these
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
are done
deliberately
, there should be heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
to control this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
can be in the form of a large sum of fines, suspending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
license
, and even imprisonment.

However
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
should be
appropriately
educated on road
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
providing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
license
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, there should be a probationary period to observe a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
license
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who will
be caught
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
license
unless they go through a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
again.

In conclusion
, much
Possible spelling mistake found.
strick
punishments should
be imposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
road safety while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take more precautions on educating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
on road
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that the only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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