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in some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. some people think this is good for a country, while others believes that government should control salaries and limit the amount people earn. discuss both views and give your opinion. v.10

in some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. some people think this is good for a country, while others believes that government should control salaries and limit the amount people earn. v. 10
Nowadays, money is the need of every individual. Most people believe that money is the necessity of life and people should earn it as it directly contribute to the economy of the country. Critics argue that government should limit the amount every individual earn and that money could be spent somewhere else. I personally believe that the countries where individuals are earning high amount, the citizens of those countries are happier then others who do not have high wages. This essay will what are the pros and cons of having high salaries from the examples of American institute of health and international monetary fund. To began with, in developing countries, most of the people are struggling to keep up with their soaring life expenses due to which they are forced to work extra time and take less holidays. The reason behind this is twofold. Firstly, developing countries are already struggling with their economies and can not afford to pay high wages to its citizens. Secondly, developing countries are more focused on developing the infrastructure which boosts their economies. For example, a research done by the international monetary fund showed that developing countries are investing more on infrastructue due to which consumers posses low money and are struggling for food and daily household needs. That's why some people believe that government should pay high salaries to its citizens so that they can easily live their lives. On the other hand, there is an ample evidence, in developed countries, individuals have high wages due to the high level of developments. This is the reason why the obesity rates are higher amongst the developed countries. Consumers posses high money, therefore consume a vast amount of fast food with seriously diminishing their income. For instance, the research done by American institue of health found that an average American household has seven times more budget for food per month compared to an average Indian household budget. That's why some people believe that government can address such issues in the society by putting a cap on the salaries. To sum up, i believe that if government is able to control obesity rates in their countries, they should definitely invest on its citizens so that they can live a happy life.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the need of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the necessity of life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should earn it as it
directly
contribute to the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Critics argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should limit the amount every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
earn and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
be spent
somewhere else. I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
amount, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are happier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
others who do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages. This essay will what are the pros and cons of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries from the examples of American institute of health and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
international monetary fund
.

To began with, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with their soaring life expenses due to which they
are forced
to work extra time and take
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun holidays is countable.
less
holidays. The reason behind this is twofold.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are already struggling with their economies and can not afford to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are more focused on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
the infrastructure which boosts their economies.
For example
, a research done by the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
international monetary fund
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are investing more on
Possible spelling mistake found.
infrastructue
due to which consumers posses low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and are struggling for food and daily household needs. That's why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
, there is an ample evidence, in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level of developments. This is the reason why the obesity rates are higher amongst the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Consumers posses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
therefore
consume a vast amount of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food with
seriously
diminishing their income.
For instance
, the research done by American
Possible spelling mistake found.
institue
of health found that an average American household has seven times more budget for food per month compared to an average Indian household budget. That's why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can address such issues in the society by putting a cap on the salaries.

To sum up,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is able to control obesity rates in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they should definitely invest on its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a happy life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay in some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. some people think this is good for a country, while others believes that government should control salaries and limit the amount people earn. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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