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In many countries, old or traditional languages are dying out or being forgotten, especially by younger people. Is this an acceptable development which occurs inevitably, or is it something which we should try to prevent? v.1

In many countries, old or traditional languages are dying out or being forgotten, especially by younger people. Is this an acceptable development which occurs inevitably, or is it something which we should try to prevent? v. 1
As the world evolves, young people lose their old dialect and mother tongue that they don't care. I will consider both sides of the discussion in this essay. On the one hand, opponents die of common languages the globalization have entered to health science. Due to, if they unearth more languages, they will be searching for health science news no matter where. The example of Inner Mongolia physicians defends their master's degree by electronically attending classes. Furthermore, in a globalized world, people eager to study foreign sound and exist abroad. So parents desire to study their pupils initiate at an early age. Such as, Chinese people feel if they know three foreign languages, they will be envisaged, intellectual persons. However, those who support die of traditional languages promote keeping the old jargon, protects the nation from the peril of perishing. Evidence from other countries of Inner Mongolia. They still have been talking and writing to each other the mother tongue. Moreover, Countries are putting a lot of literature into school programs to preserve their expression. Due to, they instil to relish the native vocabulary. For instance, Cossack and Tyva republic have passed laws against retaining mother tongue. To conclude, I would tend with support die of traditional 0speech. They can preserve their heritage and inculcate of adoration their native accent.
As the world evolves, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lose their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
dialect and mother tongue that they don't care. I will consider both sides of the discussion in this essay.

On the one hand, opponents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
of common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
the globalization have entered to health science. Due to, if they unearth more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, they will be searching for health science news no matter where. The example of Inner Mongolia physicians defends their master's degree by
electronically
attending classes.
Furthermore
, in a globalized world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
eager to study foreign sound and exist abroad.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
parents desire to study their pupils initiate at an early age. Such as, Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel if they know three foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, they will
be envisaged
, intellectual persons.

However
, those who support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
promote keeping the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
jargon, protects the nation from the peril of perishing. Evidence from other countries of Inner Mongolia. They
still
have been talking and writing to each other the mother tongue.
Moreover
, Countries are putting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
literature into school programs to preserve their expression. Due to, they
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
to relish the native vocabulary.
For instance
, Cossack and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tyva
republic have passed laws against retaining mother tongue.

To conclude
, I would tend with support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
of traditional 0speech. They can preserve their heritage and inculcate of adoration their native accent.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, old or traditional languages are dying out or being forgotten, especially by younger people. Is this an acceptable development which occurs inevitably, or is it something which we should try to prevent? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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