Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people think it is important to protect the environment, but they make no effort on it themselves. Why it is so and what can be done about it? v.1

Many people think it is important to protect the environment, but they make no effort on it themselves. Why it is so and what can be done about it? v. 1
Pure environment is necessary to stay healthy so most of people believe that to save the environment is very important, but they do not do assiduity to protect it themselves as they do not the cause but it should be done by taking some steps. To begin with, there are some reasons why people not try to make environment better. Firstly, people do not know they themselves are the main cause of environmental damage because they do not know by their daily activities they harm the environment for example, uses of cars and other vehicles more and more cause pollution in surroundings. Secondly, they do not think enough about it because they are living in luxurious life like everyone use air conditioner to protect themselves from heat but they do not think that why they feel hot environment. Moreover, people believe that it is a global problem and they can not do anything to solve it only government action can solve it. Some measure can be taken which help people, what can harm the environment and what they can do. First of all, awareness for environment should be spread among people and should be educate people about, how environment can damage so, they do not use any thing which is harmful for it. Then, people need to think themselves to regarding this problem like they have to think about upcoming generation. In addition, some strict rules and regulations should be made by government and action should be take if anyone try to damage the environment by breaking the rules. Furthermore, whole world should be united to take appropriate measures for this problem like make an organization which give all instruction related to environment on daily basis. In conclusion, people want to protect environment but they do not know what can be done so, they should be aware by educating them and by taking individual responsibility this problem can be solved.
Pure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is necessary to stay healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not do assiduity to protect it themselves as they do not the cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should
be done
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
better.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know they themselves are the main cause of environmental damage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not know by their daily activities they harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of cars and other vehicles more and more cause pollution in surroundings.
Secondly
, they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
about it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are living in luxurious life like everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "uses", "used".
use
air conditioner to protect themselves from heat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that why they feel hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is a global
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problem and
they can not do anything to solve it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
action can solve it.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
measure can
be taken
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, what can harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and what they can do.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, awareness for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
should
be spread
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and should be
Consider using the past participle "educated"?
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
can damage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Did you mean "anything"?
any thing
which is harmful for it. Then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
themselves to regarding this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
like they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about upcoming generation.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations should
be made
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and action should be
Did you mean "taken"?
take
if anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tries", "tried".
try
to damage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
by breaking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Furthermore
, whole world should
be united
to take appropriate measures for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an organization which give all instruction related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
on daily basis.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not know what can
be done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they should be aware by educating them and by taking individual responsibility this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be solved
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Many people think it is important to protect the environment, but they make no effort on it themselves. Why it is so and what can be done about it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts