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most people agree that money cannot be happiness why is happiness difficult to understand how can people achieve happiness v.2

most people agree that money cannot be happiness why is happiness difficult to understand how can people achieve happiness v. 2
Many people claim that happiness is not measuring with money. The following essay takes a look at both sides of this argument that why it is not easy to determine happiness and how is the person can get it. In the first place, it is true that defining what is the happiness it is sometimes difficult for people. In general, money and happiness are so close to each other. For example, if someone is so rich but ill, so he or she can afford to treat in great hospitals but it cannot bring happiness to a person. In fact, without money, it also troubles to deal with to cope with some serious illness problems. In this case, people cannot determine what is more crucial, money or other things. On the other hand, money is something but not everything in daily life. Moreover, pleasant is considered an essential part of a person' s life. Even if people value some things such as family or job conditions, they would be happy with a little amount of money. For instance, there are many little groups in Africa, which earn so little amount of money whilst working hard. Statistics show that they reckon themselves happy as a result of living surround their family. To conclude, money is not the most important thing for happiness, while it can be found on other sides of our life, such as living through family or job satisfaction. I strongly believe that if people can identify what is happiness, life will be heaven for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is not measuring with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. The following essay takes a look at both sides of this argument that why it is not easy to determine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
and how is the person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it.

In the
first
place, it is true that defining what is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In general
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
close to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For example
, if someone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ill,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he or she can afford to treat in great hospitals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to a person. In fact, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, it
also
troubles to deal with to cope with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious illness problems.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot determine
what is more
crucial,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not everything in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, pleasant
is considered
an essential part of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
value
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things such as family or job conditions, they would be happy with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
groups in Africa, which earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
whilst working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. Statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that they reckon themselves happy
as a result
of living surround their family.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, while it can
be found
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sides of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, such as living through family or job satisfaction. I
strongly
believe that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can identify what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be heaven for them.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay most people agree that money cannot be happiness why is happiness difficult to understand how can people achieve happiness v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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