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most people agree that money cannot be happiness why is happiness difficult to understand how can people achieve happiness v.1

most people agree that money cannot be happiness why is happiness difficult to understand how can people achieve happiness v. 1
Throughout the last fifty years, the number and the variety of places serving meals has been dramatically increasing in most cities of the world. Therefore, it is debated whether domestic or restaurant food should be preferred. Whilst I broadly agree that home cooking is better than dining out, I have a number of reservations about this. Without doubt, eateries need to make their menu appealing in order to attract customers. It goes without saying that marketing strategies not always lead to healthy choices. First and foremost, a recent chemical analysis of several aliments reveals that addictive stimulants are routinely added to restaurant food and drinks. Secondly, the amount of salt and fats used by some dining facilities not only enriches the taste of their dishes, but also raises concerns to the public. For instance, it has been demonstrated that an excessively salty and fatty diet is detrimental to blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Moreover, dining out might encourage people to eat more than their needs as seen in sushi train and all-you-can-eat restaurants. Admittedly, it is quite reasonable to argue that restaurants create employment. In addition, eating out is more convenient than preparing food at home. However, the time spent for grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning can be an occasion for families to share responsibilities and time together. For example, cooking with my wife is for me one of the sweetest part of the day. In summary, both home cooking and food facilities carry some advantages for individuals and community. However, I am of the opinion that preparing meals at home may improve both people health and connection beetween family members.
Throughout the last fifty years, the number and the variety of places serving meals has been
dramatically
increasing in most cities of the world.
Therefore
, it
is debated
whether domestic or restaurant
food
should
be preferred
. Whilst I
broadly
agree
that home cooking is better than dining out, I have a number of reservations about this.

Without doubt, eateries need to
make
their menu appealing in order to attract customers. It goes without saying that marketing strategies not always lead to healthy choices.
First
and foremost, a recent chemical analysis of several aliments reveals that addictive stimulants are
routinely
added
to restaurant
food
and drinks.
Secondly
, the amount of salt and fats
used
by
some
dining facilities not
only
enriches the taste of their dishes,
but
also
raises concerns to the public.
For instance
, it has
been demonstrated
that an
excessively
salty and fatty diet is detrimental to blood pressure and cholesterol levels.
Moreover
, dining out might encourage
people
to eat more than their needs as
seen
in sushi train and all-you-can-eat restaurants.

Admittedly
, it is quite reasonable to argue that restaurants create employment.
In addition
, eating out is more convenient than preparing
food
at home.
However
, the time spent for grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning can be an occasion for families to share responsibilities and time together.
For example
, cooking with my wife is for me one of the sweetest part of the day.

In summary, both home cooking and
food
facilities carry
some
advantages for individuals and community.
However
, I am of the opinion that preparing meals at home may
improve
both
people
health and connection
beetween
family members.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay most people agree that money cannot be happiness why is happiness difficult to understand how can people achieve happiness v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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