Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

An increasing number of people do not know their neighbors, and there is no longer a sense of community. What do you think are the causes of this situation? Can you suggest some solutions? v.2

An increasing number of people do not know their neighbors, and there is no longer a sense of community. What do you think are the causes of this situation? Can you suggest some solutions? v. 2
It is a common phenomenon for many people feel unfamiliar with their neighbors. Some people believe if this matter become worse, people will no longer need community. Apart from the reasons of personal character, some other factors will also cause this result. The most important reason is that people spend less time together than in the past. Many people just have nodding acquaintance with their neighbors because they can only meet each other when they go out. At the same time, changes in the structure of houses make it more difficult for people to meet each other. In the past, the house is open and usually has a yard so that neighbors could sit in the yard and chat with host. However nowadays less community provide such a yard for its residents to rest. Moreover, a fast-paced life makes people have no time to communicate with their neighbors. Fierce competition at work makes people less energetic to communicate with others, therefore they become more and more indifferent. It is difficult to solve this problem. First and foremost, the community can provide more public area for people to rest and talk, such as recreation room or gyms. People will have more possibility to meet their neighbors when stay in these public area. Also, the community could hold more activities which invite their residences to participate. It obviously can create a platform for people become familiar with each other. Overall, communities should reflect their functions through management and developing activities. A community with well organize and secure environment can help its residences expand their social bond.
It is a common phenomenon for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel unfamiliar with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe if this matter become worse,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will no longer need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. Apart from the reasons of personal character,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors will
also
cause this result.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend less time together than in the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have nodding acquaintance with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
when they go out. At the same time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the structure of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. In the past, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is open and
usually
has a yard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
could sit in the yard and chat with host.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
nowadays less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
provide such a yard for its residents to rest.
Moreover
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no time to communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
. Fierce competition at work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less energetic to communicate with others,
therefore
they become more and more indifferent.

It is difficult to solve this problem.
First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
can provide more public area for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to rest and talk, such as recreation room or gyms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will have more possibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
neighbors
when stay in these public area.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
could hold more activities which invite their residences to participate. It
obviously
can create a platform for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become familiar with each other.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
should reflect their functions through management and developing activities. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
with well organize and secure environment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
its residences expand their social bond.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay An increasing number of people do not know their neighbors, and there is no longer a sense of community. What do you think are the causes of this situation? Can you suggest some solutions? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts