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Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness? v.1

Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness? v. 1
While the most people argue that money cannot be equal to happiness, it is important to realise why it is difficult to identify what it is. This essay will explore why is it so and then explain how can individuals can reach the happiness. Undoubtedly, definition of happiness may vary from one individual to another, thus there are an infinite amount of meanings which lay behind this. For instance, if one person can find happiness in money and social recognition, another could find these values pointless due to his priorities in family and friends. Consequently, they both strive to achieve happiness, however, actions which should be taken are definitely opposite. Furthermore, some people are not sure in what type of job, marital status and occupation they would like to obtain because of their uncertainty in life itself since there are a huge variety of options to choose. As a result of this, happiness becomes a dynamic meaning which can transform throughout a person’s life. Of all the various components which lead to happiness, one is successful career. For example, if workers do a job which is appreciated and paid lucratively, their level of satisfaction will boost happiness. Therefore, the level of their confidence to demonstrate valuable performance and provide a family wellbeing will support them to stay happy. A second factor is family, including a partner and kids, who are usually extremely eager to support each other. While family is spending a lot of time to raise offsprings, build a house and plan a family vacation there is always a high pace of life which should charge a person to have a taste of life. In conclusion, happiness is a complex meaning and most often people do not realise life goals properly, thus lead to difficulties to identify the reason behind it. To my mind, worthwhile career and supportive family are two components of how people can be happy in life.
While the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that money cannot be equal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
why it is difficult to identify what it is. This essay will explore why is it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how can individuals can reach the happiness.

Undoubtedly
, definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
may vary from one individual to another,
thus
there are an infinite
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "amounts"?
amount
of meanings which lay behind this.
For instance
, if one person can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in money and social recognition, another could find these values pointless due to his priorities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends.
Consequently
, they both strive to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
,
however
, actions which should
be taken
are definitely opposite.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not sure in what type of job, marital status and occupation they would like to obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their uncertainty in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
itself since there are a huge variety of options to choose.
As a result
of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
becomes a dynamic meaning which can transform throughout a person’s life.

Of all the various components which lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, one is successful career.
For example
, if workers do a job which
is appreciated
and paid
lucratively
, their level of satisfaction will boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
Therefore
, the level of their confidence to demonstrate valuable performance and provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
will support them to stay happy. A second factor is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, including a partner and kids, who are
usually
extremely
eager to support each other. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to raise
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
, build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and plan a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
vacation there is always a high pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which should charge a person to have a taste of life.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is a complex meaning and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
goals
properly
,
thus
lead to difficulties to identify the reason behind it. To my mind, worthwhile career and supportive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
are two components of how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be happy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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