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Most of us rely on newspapers as the primary source of news and information and newspapers have a great influence on us. v.1

Most of us rely on newspapers as the primary source of news and information and newspapers have a great influence on us. v. 1
Nowadays, the press is one of the leading sources of information for citizens. While it can have some drawbacks on communities’ beliefs, I personally believe that the positive consequences can be more obvious. On the one hand, undoubtedly, newspapers have some negative impacts on individuals’ beliefs. Firstly, some unimportant news can be exaggerated. Some publishers, who work against a political party, may overstate its weaknesses via reports being published locally or even nationally. In this way, about nuclear talks between Iran and 5+1 countries, some opponents owing the press gave some negative implications about this negotiation that have been fundamentally unreal. In addition, the violation can be intensified. There is no any sufficient control on some inappropriate scenes being published in newspapers, making some age-groups to become more aggressive. In this way, a Californian teenager who read an article about the gun robbery in the local news committed similar crime after he read it. On the other hand, the positive influences of newspapers cannot be discarded, and I agree that they have more numerous advantages on societies’ opinions. Firstly, citizens can become more familiar with the economic condition. Clearly, one of the best ways that civilians can understand the economists’ views is reading their articles in news. Knowing about inflation or recession, individuals can enhance their knowledge about how they can manage their finance or invest in some profitable stocks. Furthermore, news can raise people’s information about the climate condition. Apparently, the best source of data could be the weather reports, reported locally or nationally. If people did not have sufficient access to them, they would not have been informed accurately about some probable oncoming natural disasters. For instance, climate reports noticed millions of New Yorkers from a dreadful hurricane in 2013, through sending local announcements to their homes. In conclusion, disadvantages of newspaper cannot be undeniable. However, the advantages can surpass them, and I believe that humans can escalate their economy and climate information by reading them.
Nowadays, the press is one of the leading sources of information for citizens. While it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks on communities’ beliefs, I
personally
believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences can be more obvious.

On the one hand,
undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on individuals’ beliefs.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unimportant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can
be exaggerated
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
publishers, who work against a political party, may overstate its weaknesses via reports
being published
locally
or even
nationally
. In this way, about nuclear talks between Iran and 5+1 countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opponents owing the press gave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implications about this negotiation that have been
fundamentally
unreal.
In addition
, the violation can
be intensified
. There is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any sufficient control on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inappropriate scenes
being published
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
, making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
age-groups to become more aggressive. In this way, a Californian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
who read an article about the gun robbery in the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
committed similar crime after he read it.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
cannot
be discarded
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they have more numerous advantages on societies’ opinions.
Firstly
, citizens can become more familiar with the economic condition.
Clearly
, one of the best ways that civilians can understand the economists’ views is reading their articles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Knowing about inflation or recession, individuals can enhance their knowledge about how they can manage their finance or invest in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
profitable stocks.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can raise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s information about the climate condition.
Apparently
, the best source of data could be the weather reports, reported
locally
or
nationally
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did not have sufficient access to them, they would not have
been informed
accurately
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
probable oncoming natural disasters.
For instance
, climate reports noticed millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Yorkers from a dreadful hurricane in 2013, through sending local announcements to their homes.

In conclusion
, disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
cannot be undeniable.
However
, the advantages can surpass them, and I believe that humans can escalate their economy and climate information by reading them.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Most of us rely on newspapers as the primary source of news and information and newspapers have a great influence on us. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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