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The table below gives figures for student applications and acceptances for UK university course in the field of tourism, transport, and travel. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. v.1

The table below gives figures for student applications and acceptances for UK university course in the field of tourism, transport, and travel. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. v. 1
There is an opinion that a mixture of nationalities in population makes the country more fascinating and accelerate economic growth. I completely agree with this statement because living among different nations is less monotonous and cultural diversity in the business sector contributes to economic growth. Any country with various nations becomes more fascinating for several reasons. The main one is linked to less boring life. Every nation has its own culture, customs, and even temper which means that people in these cities can experience more different colourful festivals, varied cuisines, catching sports games. For example, these are the things that we encounter every day and what our life consist of. Thus, living in a multi-cultural society enhances our enjoyment of life. Moreover, I tend to think that economic growth benefits of cultural diversity. A big number of different restaurants serving unique cuisines, concerts showing national performances, sports events gathering thousands of fans, those are the things that bring a large income to the government in the form of taxes. This means the authorities are capable of investing these huge sums on building new educational centres, hospitals, science laboratories, and fabrics which will definitely bring growth to the economy. As a result, developed countries attract foreign investors and entrepreneurs that can affect the economy favourably by opening new corporations. Hence, multicultural society can have a positive effect on economic development. In conclusion, I totally agree that diverse nations living in one country make life interesting as well as boost economic growth. This is due to the more diverse leisure time and taxes that the government gets from the increased diversity of the business sector.
There is an opinion that a mixture of nationalities in population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
more fascinating and accelerate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
living among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is less monotonous and cultural diversity in the business sector contributes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth.

Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
becomes more fascinating for several reasons. The main one
is linked
to less boring life. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture, customs, and even temper which means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in these cities can experience more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
festivals, varied cuisines, catching sports games.
For example
, these are the things that we encounter every day and what our life consist of.
Thus
, living in a multi-cultural society enhances our enjoyment of life.

Moreover
, I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
benefits of cultural diversity. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
restaurants serving unique cuisines, concerts showing national performances, sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
gathering thousands of fans, those are the things that bring a large income to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in the form of taxes. This means the authorities are capable of investing these huge sums on building new educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, hospitals, science laboratories, and fabrics which will definitely bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
to the economy.
As a result
, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
attract foreign investors and entrepreneurs that can affect the economy
Possible spelling mistake found.
favourably
by opening new corporations.
Hence
, multicultural society can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
living in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life interesting
as well
as boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
. This is due to the more diverse leisure time and taxes that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
from the increased diversity of the business sector.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The table below gives figures for student applications and acceptances for UK university course in the field of tourism, transport, and travel. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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