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Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. v. 6
In this contemporary settings, global cooperation is given paramount importance, and some are of the opinions that a majority of important issues can be resolved by international cooperation solely. Considering this situation, it is crucial to explore this from two perspectives. To begin with, international aids provided by wealthy countries have some merits as it is a genius tool for holistic international development. To be specific, signing agreements on sharing advanced technological support is an effective and efficient way to solve some global matters. For example, global warming is a key issue in the world village, and this could put some human-beings endangered as some countries, which are under the sea level, could be vanished by raising sea. Therefore, tackling this problem requires each country to cooperate together to make a joint effort. Thus, this cooperation makes a contribution to solving global problems. Moreover, many developing countries suffering in poverty and hunger problems need financial and resourceful support, thereby providing food resource and financial support by wealthy countries can possibly resolve these problems. As a result, this is a pragmatic approach to take care of global problems. On the other hand, there might be some potential drawbacks on global cooperation, since some problems cannot be only solved by international collaboration. To be precise, since there is no such thing as free lunch, many developed countries will ask some things for return as a matter of help. For instance, some developed countries provide military and financial support for many poor countries to help them rebuild their countries. It is this help that gives them audacity and bargaining power to develop their land resource and use on other political purposes. Hence, this is a disastrous repercussion on international collaboration. Besides, many aid-recipient countries may experience inside corruption such as bribery and political volatility, since these financial supports are not allocated properly. consequently, people who are in need will face worse situations. To sum up, it is apparent that global support plays a pivotal role in resolving global environmental issues, and scarcity of resources. However, by no mean, should we turn a blind eye on the detrimental effects, such as corruption of recipient countries, and exploit of some developed countries. I strongly believe that international aids are not the best way of resolving certain situations.
In this contemporary settings,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
paramount importance, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are of the opinions that a majority of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues can
be resolved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
solely
. Considering this situation, it is crucial to explore this from two perspectives.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
aids provided by wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits as it is a genius tool for holistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
development. To be specific, signing agreements on sharing advanced technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
is an effective and efficient way to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
matters.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming is a key issue in the world village, and this could put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
human-beings endangered as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which are under the sea level, could
be vanished
by raising sea.
Therefore
, tackling this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
requires each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to cooperate together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a joint effort.
Thus
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a contribution to solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
suffering in poverty and hunger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
and resourceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
, thereby providing food resource and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
by wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
possibly
resolve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
As a result
, this is a pragmatic approach to take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
problems.

On the other hand
, there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential drawbacks on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solved by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
collaboration. To be precise, since there is no such thing as free lunch,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will ask
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things for return as a matter of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
provide military and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them rebuild their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It is this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
that gives them audacity and bargaining power to develop their land resource and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
on other political purposes.
Hence
, this is a disastrous repercussion on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
collaboration.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aid-recipient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may experience inside corruption such as bribery and political volatility, since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supports
are not allocated
properly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are in need will face worse situations.

To sum up, it is apparent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
plays a pivotal role in resolving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
environmental issues, and scarcity of resources.
However
, by no mean, should we turn a blind eye on the detrimental effects, such as corruption of recipient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and exploit of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
aids are not the best way of resolving certain situations.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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