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Most of the information comes from internet nowadays. Some people say that a large amount of information we get is incorrect. Do you agree or disagree. ? v.1

Most of the information comes from internet nowadays. Some people say that a large amount of information we get is incorrect. ? v. 1
We are living in the most fascinating world where everything changes drastically fast. As there are lots of positive things have developed which can enhance the quality of human life while on the darker side the most serious issue is crime. Nowadays, every age group of people is involved in criminal activities due to the different reasons. Nowadays, the government has spent lots of money to identify and punish of criminal activities. The reasons behind the crimes are countless but the most common reasons are drugs, alcohol, social problems and poverty. To resolve the issues government can focus on either hard punishment or develop employment opportunities. One of the main causes of criminality is the use, sale and dealing of narcotics. For example, sales of drugs are organised by armed criminal gangs who illegally traffic drugs using children and control their business with extreme violence. In such cases tougher punishment is the best resolution. In some cases poverty is also a major factor behind a crime because unskilled jobs pay a little and daily living expenses are high, so for survival they have easily diverted to criminal activities. Crime can be dealt with not only strict criminal laws, but some of the other way may be to deal with the social causes. Increasing job opportunities in poor areas can improve the living standards which will ultimately helpful to afford daily expanses, housing and educations. In conclusion, crime is a major issue, but cracking down it with a harsh penal system is not the only way. These problems can be solved through the government providing jobs and funding, which should raise living standards and dramatically reduce crime levels.
We are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the most fascinating world where everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
drastically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. As there are lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things have developed which can enhance the quality of human life while on the darker side the most serious issue is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Nowadays, every age group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons.

Nowadays, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has spent lots of money to identify and punish of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities. The reasons behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are countless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most common reasons are drugs, alcohol, social problems and poverty. To resolve the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "issues'" or "issue's"?
issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can focus on either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
punishment or develop employment opportunities. One of the main causes of criminality is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, sale and dealing of narcotics.
For example
, sales of drugs are
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
by armed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
gangs who
illegally
traffic drugs using children and control their business with extreme violence. In such cases tougher punishment is the best resolution.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "cases'" or "case's"?
cases
poverty is
also
a major factor behind a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
unskilled jobs pay a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
and daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
expenses are high,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for survival they have
easily
diverted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
can
be dealt
with not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
laws,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
other way may be to deal with the social causes. Increasing job opportunities in poor areas can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standards which will
ultimately
helpful to afford daily expanses, housing and educations.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a major issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cracking down it with a harsh penal system is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way. These problems can
be solved
through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
providing jobs and funding, which should raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standards and
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
levels.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Most of the information comes from internet nowadays. Some people say that a large amount of information we get is incorrect. ? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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