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Most of big cities are overpopulated. Why do people still move to big cities? Give your opinion and example. v.1

Most of big cities are overpopulated. Why do people still move to big cities? Give your opinion and example. v. 1
Some people thought that only higher authorities should make plans in an enterprise. Although, other things that the workforce should be encouraged to take part in decision making procedures. This essay agrees that the top level management decisions are necessary, but this provision should also be given to its employees for organisational growth. This essay will discuss about both viewpoints. To begin with, there is no doubt that managers are well decision makers due to the wider range of their experience in various organisational situations. They have a high level of competencies such as leadership, supervision, communication skills, which help them to achieve organisational goals in a more efficient way. However, with the advancement of technology, manager’s old ways to implement decisions may become obsolete. In this situation, new generation employee who have well-established technological and managerial knowledge can help managers to achieve ambition of an organisation. Google is the best suitable example to illustrate this fact, the human resources of this company have equal rights to take an initiative as higher authorities to fulfil company's long term vision. On the other hand, workers’ participation in the decision making process can motivate and stimulate the employees to show their various skills. In this way, human resources of an organisation feel themselves as a part of the company and the this will encourage them to make more efforts to accomplish the common aim of an enterprise. It is said by an expert that the human resource is an important asset of an organisation and the research conducted by well known management professional in the USA stated that more the workers’ involvement in decisions, more improved quality of the product will be produced as an output with negligible errors. In conclusion, managers are important part in decisions of business, but the workers should be involved in the decision making process to get more efficient and accurate output, which ultimately contribute to the achieve an organisational long term goal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
higher authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
plans in an enterprise.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, other things that the workforce should
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
procedures. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
are necessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this provision should
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to its employees for
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
growth. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
viewpoints.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
are well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
makers due to the wider range of their experience in various
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
situations. They have a high level of competencies such as leadership, supervision, communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to achieve
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
goals in a more efficient way.
However
, with the advancement of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ways to implement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
may become obsolete. In this situation, new generation employee who have well-established technological and managerial knowledge can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
to achieve ambition of an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. Google is the best suitable example to illustrate this fact, the human resources of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
have equal rights to take an initiative as higher authorities to fulfil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's long term vision.

On the other hand
, workers’ participation in the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process can motivate and stimulate the employees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In this way, human resources of an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
feel themselves as a part of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only "the" or "this" is left.
the this
will encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more efforts to accomplish the common aim of an enterprise. It
is said
by an expert that the human resource is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
asset of an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
and the research conducted by well known management professional in the USA stated that more the workers’ involvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
quality of the product will
be produced
as an output with negligible errors.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
of business,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the workers should
be involved
in the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more efficient and accurate output, which
ultimately
contribute to
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'achieve' is correct. If 'achieve' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the achieve
an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
long term goal.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Most of big cities are overpopulated. Why do people still move to big cities? Give your opinion and example. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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