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nowadays animal experiments ae widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. some people argue that these experimets should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of th v.1

nowadays animal experiments ae widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. some people argue that these experimets should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of th v. 1
Along with collecting information related to professional qualities, employers tend to also find out some private details such as marital status or hobbies. It is often argued that this is a positive tendency, while others disagree and think it will lead to adverse ramifications. In this essay, both points of view will be examined and will state that data-gathering of personal information in many respects might give rise to create a motivated workforce. It is clear that personal information may be used as a crucial factor in hiring rather than professional qualities. In other words, despite equal experience and capability, details about marital status as well as interests may stand employees out among the crowd or even discriminate against them. It can be best exemplified by a recent study, where it is told that personality traits such as love for pets or having children are believed to be a straightforward way to determine reliability and responsibility of applicants: otherwise, it may be considered as their disadvantage However, gathered personal information may be beneficial in creating an effective team of workers. Firstly, compiled lists of interests would be used as a positive reinforcement which may not only improve motivation and commitment but also enhance job satisfaction. To illustrate this point, perks in the form of subsidized membership of sports clubs for those who are very keen on doing sport, provide positive reasons to be diligent. In addition, supplying the necessary support to employees according to the private details, work/life balance would be achieved. It is therefore clear that awareness of personal information is a worthwhile tool to boost people’s spirits to work harder. In conclusion, although some people are in the opinion that gathering personal data may affect the bias in hiring, I disagree. From my point of view, private information may bring about creation motivated teamwork.
Along with collecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
related to professional qualities, employers tend to
also
find out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
such as marital status or hobbies. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
tendency, while others disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will lead to adverse ramifications. In this essay, both points of view will
be examined
and will state that data-gathering of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
respects might give rise to create a motivated workforce.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a crucial factor in hiring
rather
than professional qualities.
In other words
, despite equal experience and capability,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about marital status
as well
as interests may stand employees out among the crowd or even discriminate against them. It can be best exemplified by a recent study, where it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that personality traits such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for pets or having children
are believed
to be a straightforward way to determine reliability and responsibility of applicants:
otherwise
, it may
be considered
as their disadvantage

However
, gathered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
may be beneficial in creating an effective team of workers.
Firstly
, compiled lists of interests would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
reinforcement which may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
motivation and commitment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enhance job satisfaction. To illustrate this point, perks in the form of subsidized membership of sports clubs for those who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
keen on doing sport, provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
reasons to be diligent.
In addition
, supplying the necessary support to employees according to the private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, work/life balance would
be achieved
. It is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is a worthwhile tool to boost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s spirits to work harder.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in the opinion that gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data may affect the bias in hiring, I disagree. From my point of view, private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
may bring about creation motivated teamwork.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay nowadays animal experiments ae widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. some people argue that these experimets should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of th v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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