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While people flood into big cities to seek jobs and happy life, there is a tendency for people to move out. What problems do big cities have? Give reasons for answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

While people flood into big cities to seek jobs and happy life, there is a tendency for people to move out. What problems do big cities have? Give reasons for answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 1
If asked whether it is choosing a metropolitan life or living in a countryside area that gives more satisfaction, many would struggle to make the final choice. While, some people are migrating to the hustle and bustle cities with the desires of a better life, it is a surge of people attempting to escape from this. My twofold essay will demonstrate this phenomenon in details. On the on hand, it is true that there is a plethora of aspects that may benefit people who settle down in the cities. Firstly, living in the cities would enable people to accept to modern facility and high quality services such as: medical health cares, top-tier education, entertainment centres, … It is obvious that these above things may not potentially be available in the outskirts. Moreover, in the light of vibrant and dynamic life in the metropolis, it may create great career opportunities, therefore, people could easily get a job to make a living. According to an investigation of VN Express Magazine, the lack of employments have remained continuously in next several years in Hanoi city, the capital of Viet Nam. On the other hand, there are two justifiable reasons which might explain to this tendency of escaping from the big cities. Initially, the increasing at an alarming rate of population density in the cities have great deal of adverse impacts on the environment. Thus, perhaps inhabitants are intending to flit from cities, who suffer from the issues of the environmental degradation such as terrible quality of air and water sources. Besides, the cost of living in the city is prohibitively expensive that people usually have to deal with the heavy workload to afford. In other words, the citizens have to pay too much money for almost merchandises and services including house rent and essentials. In conclusion, albeit living in the metropolitan areas might bring to citizen’s life many marvellous advantages, there is a great deal of issue which people are settling down in the urban zones have to face with day-to-day.
If asked whether it is choosing a metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a countryside area that gives more satisfaction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
would struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the final choice. While,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating to the hustle and bustle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
with the desires of a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is a surge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attempting to escape from this. My twofold essay will demonstrate this phenomenon in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the on hand, it is true that there is a plethora of aspects that may benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who settle down in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
would enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to accept to modern facility and high quality services such as: medical health cares, top-tier education, entertainment
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, … It is obvious that these above things may not
potentially
be available in the outskirts.
Moreover
, in the light of vibrant and dynamic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the metropolis, it may create great career opportunities,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. According to an investigation of VN Express Magazine, the lack of employments have remained
continuously
in
next
several years in Hanoi city, the capital of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam.

On the other hand
, there are two justifiable reasons which might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to this tendency of escaping from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Initially
, the increasing at an alarming rate of population density in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have great deal of adverse impacts on the environment.
Thus
, perhaps inhabitants are intending to flit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, who suffer from the issues of the environmental degradation such as terrible quality of air and water sources.
Besides
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city is
prohibitively
expensive that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with the heavy workload to afford.
In other words
, the citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay too much money for almost merchandises and services including
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rent and essentials.

In conclusion
, albeit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the metropolitan areas might bring to citizen’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'marvellous' is British English.
marvellous
advantages, there is a great deal of issue which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are settling down in the urban zones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face with day-to-day.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay While people flood into big cities to seek jobs and happy life, there is a tendency for people to move out. What problems do big cities have? Give reasons for answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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