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Many people around the world are choosing to move to live in cities. What problems do people experience in big cities? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller towns? v.1

Many people around the world are choosing to move to live in cities. What problems do people experience in big cities? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller towns? v. 1
The majority of the people around the globe are opting to move to cities. People in big cities face certain problems, though they are modernized, and the governments should induce people to move to smaller towns. In this essay, the inconveniences faced by the people in cities and why the governments should encourage them to move to smaller towns will be discussed. Though people move to huge cities for having a more comfortable life, the majority of the times, they do face some problems. The ones living there have to bear with the noise pollution, air pollution and sometimes even water pollution, that is caused mainly because, there are a lot of people dwelling in that large area. Moreover, though all the things that one need are available in big cities, the places where the majority of them would be available might be too far away, and to reach the places that are distant, a lot of time, which could have been used effectively otherwise, is consumed for transportation, as, the traffic should also be considered in these big cities. For example, if a person had to reach their office which is on the other side of the city, he has to spend a lot of time, money and energy, which isn't quite desirable. Furthermore, the ones living in the cities might be tempted to buy expensive and fancy items even though they aren't needed, as they might get influenced by media, neighbours, social media and so on, especially because they live in huge cities. The government should encourage people to move to smaller towns as it could be beneficial to the individuals. If people continue to move to large cities and leave their towns, eventually, it might become a deserted place, which would be a waste of space, instead if there are more people in towns and seek oppurtunities there, then it might become a developed place in the future. Moreover, if everyone moved to the cities, then they might become even more congested and increase the traffic levels and pollution and make worse of the other problems and even might create new ones, and hence, the majority of the times, defeating the whole purpose of moving there in the first place. In summary, while there are many advantages of moving to bigger cities, there are disadvantages to consider too, and the government should induce people to move to smaller towns, as, these towns can develop further to become another big city.
The
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majority
of the
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people
around the globe are opting to
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move
to
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cities
.
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People
in
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big
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cities
face certain problems, though they
are modernized
, and the
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governments
should induce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to smaller
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towns
. In this essay, the inconveniences faced by the
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people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should encourage them to
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move
to smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
will
be discussed
.

Though
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for having a more comfortable life, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
majority
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, they do face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems. The
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ones
living there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear with the noise
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pollution
, air
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pollution
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even water
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pollution
, that
is caused
mainly
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because
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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people
dwelling in that large area.
Moreover
, though all the things that one need are available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where the
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majority
of them would be available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be too far away, and to reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
that are distant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which could have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
effectively
otherwise
,
is consumed
for transportation, as, the traffic should
also
be considered
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For example
, if a person had to reach their office which is on the other side of the city, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, money and energy, which isn't quite desirable.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be tempted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive and fancy items
even though
they aren't needed, as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by media,
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
, social media and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on,
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in huge cities.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
as it could be beneficial to the individuals. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
,
eventually
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a deserted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, which would be a waste of space,
instead
if there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
and seek
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppurtunities
there, then it
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might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in the future.
Moreover
, if everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, then they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
even more congested and increase the traffic levels and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
worse of the other problems and even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
create new
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ones
, and
hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
majority
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, defeating the whole purpose of moving there in the
first
place.

In summary, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of moving to bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there are disadvantages to consider too, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should induce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
, as, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
can develop
further
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
72Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Many people around the world are choosing to move to live in cities. What problems do people experience in big cities? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller towns? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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