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Most of big cities are overpopulated. Why do people still move to big cities? Give your opinion and example. v.2

Most of big cities are overpopulated. Why do people still move to big cities? Give your opinion and example. v. 2
Several big cities are highly populated. Even then a large number of people prefer living in the cities. In my opinion, it has to do with the environment and opportunities that the city offers. Foremost, it is not an obscure fact that the cities have a lot more to offer than the countryside. The cities offer enormous opportunities for an individual to indulge in. Finding work easily in the cities is the biggest reason that leads to the migration of people to the cities. For instance, the job sector in cities is vast. Several jobs namely valet; drivers, corporate jobs, etc. are the kind of jobs that only exists in the cities. There are more job opportunities in the cities that act as a magnet and attract people to come to live in the city rather than the countryside where the jobs are limited. Secondly, education in cities is much more creative. New teaching methods have been introduced over the past years to make learning more fun for the students. Many parents relocate to cities for better education of their children. The schools in the cities are more practical and have better resources which play a vital part in the studies. For example, the smart classes which were introduced a few years ago have yet not reached the remote areas. These classes offer new learning techniques and unorthodox methods of learning. This attracts many people to move to cities so that they can give the best education to their children. Furthermore, lifestyle in the cities is also a contributing cause to the attraction towards the cities. The city environment is completely different from the small towns. The number of leisure activities in the cities such as golfing, clubbing, swimming etc. are the kind of luxuries that people come looking for in the cities. No doubt the luxurious lifestyle of the cities is an alluring factor for the preference of living in the cities than in the countryside. Concluding, the population in the cities may be high but it is worth the features that cities have to offer. Jobs, lifestyle, pleasures, better education etc. are the reasons for the large amount of immigration of people to the cities. The population is in the cities is overlooked due to the large scope that city life offers.
Several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
highly
populated. Even then
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. In my opinion, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do with the environment and opportunities that the city offers.

Foremost, it is not an obscure fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have a lot more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
than the countryside. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
enormous opportunities for an individual to indulge in. Finding work
easily
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is the biggest reason that leads to the migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
sector in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is vast. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
namely
valet; drivers, corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, etc. are the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
exists in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. There are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
that act as a magnet and attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the city
rather
than the countryside where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are limited
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is much more creative. New teaching methods have
been introduced
over the past years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
learning more fun for the students.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents relocate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of their children. The schools in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are more practical and have better resources which play a vital part in the studies.
For example
, the smart classes which
were introduced
a few years ago have
yet
not reached the remote areas. These classes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
new learning techniques and unorthodox methods of learning. This attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can give the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to their children.

Furthermore
, lifestyle in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
also
a contributing cause to the attraction towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The city environment is completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns. The number of leisure activities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
such as golfing, clubbing, swimming etc. are the kind of luxuries that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
looking for in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. No doubt the luxurious lifestyle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is an alluring factor for the preference of living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
than in the countryside.

Concluding, the population in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
may be high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is worth the features that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
, lifestyle, pleasures, better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
etc. are the reasons for the large amount of immigration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The population is in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is overlooked
due to the large scope that city life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offers
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Most of big cities are overpopulated. Why do people still move to big cities? Give your opinion and example. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
384 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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