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Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem. v.1

Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem. v. 1
The three diagrams above imply that music media develop continually. At a glance, we see some of music media were widely-used for a tiny period and became far less popular or diminished in the end such as Compact Disks, Vinyl Records and especially Cassettes. In 1990, the Compact Disk was used by the majority, but the Digital Audio took its place in 2010. The war between these two media has broken out since 2000; when the Digital Audio appeared for the first time. Due to technology explosion, Cassette no longer being demanded by 2000. The Vinyl Record totally disappeared by 2000 and sprang up again in 2010. To conclude, the Compact Disk popularity grew up by 40 percent and then fell off steeply by 60 percent. Also, there was an increase in Digital Audio use within 10 years. A sudden reappearance of Vinyl Record occurred after 20 years----between 1990 and 2010. The three diagrams above imply that music media develop continually. At a glance, we see some of music media were widely-used for a tiny period and became far less popular or diminished in the end such as Compact Disks, Vinyl Records and especially Cassettes. In 1990, the Compact Disk was used by the majority, but the Digital Audio took its place in 2010. The war between these two media has broken out since 2000; when the Digital Audio appeared for the first time. Due to technology explosion, Cassette no longer being demanded by 2000. The Vinyl Record totally disappeared by 2000 and sprang up again in 2010. To conclude, the Compact Disk popularity grew up by 40 percent and then fell off steeply by 60 percent. Also, there was an increase in Digital Audio use within 10 years. A sudden reappearance of Vinyl Record occurred after 20 years----between 1990 and 2010
The three diagrams above imply that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
develop
continually
. At a glance, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
were
widely
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for a tiny period and became far less popular or diminished in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Compact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Disks
, Vinyl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Records
and
especially
Cassettes.

In 1990, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Compact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Disk
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the majority,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the Digital Audio took its place in 2010. The war between these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has broken out since 2000; when the Digital Audio appeared for the
first
time. Due to technology explosion, Cassette no longer
being demanded
by 2000. The Vinyl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Record
totally
disappeared by 2000 and sprang up again in 2010.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Compact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Disk
popularity grew up by 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and then fell off
steeply
by 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Also
, there was an increase in Digital Audio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
within 10 years. A sudden reappearance of Vinyl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Record
occurred after 20 years----between 1990 and 2010.

The three diagrams above imply that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
develop
continually
. At a glance, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
were
widely
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for a tiny period and became far less popular or diminished in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Compact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Disks
, Vinyl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Records
and
especially
Cassettes.

In 1990, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Compact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Disk
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the majority,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the Digital Audio took its place in 2010. The war between these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has broken out since 2000; when the Digital Audio appeared for the
first
time. Due to technology explosion, Cassette no longer
being demanded
by 2000. The Vinyl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Record
totally
disappeared by 2000 and sprang up again in 2010.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Compact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Disk
popularity grew up by 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and then fell off
steeply
by 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Also
, there was an increase in Digital Audio
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
within 10 years. A sudden reappearance of Vinyl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Record
occurred after 20 years----between 1990 and 2010
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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