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are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment? v.1

are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment? v. 1
Nowadays, many television programs are searching for talented people and the programs have been famous in many communities. Lots of human beings believe that the shows are a better way of looking for talented people, whereas some think that they just entertain the society. This essay will discuss both points of view. With regard to the talented show programs, most man kinds think that it is a good method of searching gifted individuals, because sometimes the programs take the candidate from street singers and musicians. The program can dignify many street performers and make them popular. For example, a boy band from America, One Direction, has become popular in many societies in the world from X-Factor which one of the talented show program in America. However, many believe that they just entertain mankind and profitably the television. For example, when the television perform the talented shows, the television will perform many advertisements on its program. So I think, the inhabitants are just an object of television's commercial. Then, another reason why it just for entertaining people, most of the talented shows do not include an education for adult or children, they just focus on their rating and profit, but they ignore the precious value for persons. In my view, it is useless for human beings. To sum up, although some people argue that televised talent shows are a good method of finding talented people, I would argue they are just entertainment programs and there is no precious and educational value for communities and children. I think the programs just to commerce for TV stations.
Nowadays,
many
television
programs
are searching for
talented
people
and the
programs
have been
famous
in
many
communities. Lots of human beings believe that the
shows
are a better way of looking for
talented
people
, whereas
some
think
that they
just
entertain the society. This essay will discuss both points of view.

With regard to the
talented
show
programs
, most
man
kinds
think
that it is a
good
method of searching gifted individuals,
because
sometimes
the
programs
take the candidate from street singers and musicians. The
program
can dignify
many
street performers and
make
them popular.
For example
, a boy band from America, One Direction, has become popular in
many
societies in the world from X-Factor which one of the
talented
show
program
in America.

However
,
many
believe that they
just
entertain mankind and
profitably
the
television
.
For example
, when the
television
perform
the
talented
shows
, the
television
will perform
many
advertisements on its
program
.
So
I
think
, the inhabitants are
just
an object of television's commercial. Then, another reason why it
just
for entertaining
people
, most of the
talented
shows
do not include an education for adult or children, they
just
focus on their rating and profit,
but
they
ignore
the precious value for persons. In my view, it is useless for human beings.

To sum up, although
some
people
argue that televised talent
shows
are a
good
method of finding
talented
people
, I would argue they are
just
entertainment
programs
and there is no precious and educational value for communities and children. I
think
the
programs
just
to commerce for TV stations.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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