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More people than ever before are travelling to other countries now. Why? Is this a positive development or negative development? v.2

More people than ever before are travelling to other countries now. Why? Is this a positive development or negative development? v. 2
It is a fact that a great number of dwellers are more inclined to visit overseas than before. There are several causes for this tendency and such positive influences that it could produce. There are plenty of reasons why more residents now can travel to foreign nations. First, the average income of the people is now higher than before, so they could purchase return air tickets and book in advance without difficulty. For example, a trip to Thailand may cost only 200 dollars, which is reasonably priced for middle-income citizens and even the young, making it become the most popular international destination for Vietnamese people. Secondly, thanks to technological advancements, international flights are more effective and less time-consuming, eliminating long-distance obstacle when visiting other nations. Tourists can easily reach places hundreds of miles away with just a few hours of flying. I believe that this trend could bring favorable impacts to both local zones and holidaymakers. The more tourists come to their land, the more tourism-related services might be expanded. Therefore, locals could seek job opportunities such as opening a hotel, store, entertainment service or a tour guide, making a substantial contribution to the development of local areas. Moreover, the locals could enhance their knowledge of cultural diversity around the world by organizing multicultural activities or making friends with foreign visitors. As for holidaymakers, they could visit historical constructions, try loads of delectable dishes, broaden their understanding about the lands they set foot on. In conclusion, the tendency of citizens carrying out international trips could be for reasons mentioned above, which could positively affect local areas and the tourists.
It is a fact that a great number of dwellers are more inclined to visit overseas than
before
. There are several causes for this tendency and such
positive
influences that it could produce.

There are
plenty
of reasons why more residents
now
can travel to foreign nations.
First
, the average income of the
people
is
now
higher than
before
,
so
they could
purchase
return air tickets and book in advance without difficulty.
For example
, a trip to Thailand may cost
only
200 dollars, which is
reasonably
priced for middle-income citizens and even the young, making it become the most popular international destination for Vietnamese
people
.
Secondly
, thanks to technological advancements, international flights are more effective and less time-consuming, eliminating long-distance obstacle when visiting other nations. Tourists can
easily
reach places hundreds of miles away with
just
a few hours of flying.

I believe that this trend could bring favorable impacts to both
local
zones and holidaymakers. The more tourists
come
to their land, the more tourism-related services might
be expanded
.
Therefore
,
locals
could seek job opportunities such as opening a hotel, store, entertainment service or a tour guide, making a substantial contribution to the development of
local
areas.
Moreover
, the
locals
could enhance their knowledge of cultural diversity around the world by organizing multicultural activities or making friends with foreign visitors. As for holidaymakers, they could visit historical constructions, try loads of delectable dishes, broaden their understanding about the lands they set foot on.

In conclusion
, the tendency of citizens carrying out international trips could be for reasons mentioned above, which could
positively
affect
local
areas and the tourists.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay More people than ever before are travelling to other countries now. Why? Is this a positive development or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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